CREATRIX School Chapter 07 – Energize! // RELATIONSHIPS

Let’s explore our relationships

Today, at least in some places in this world, we have the freedom to choose our partners ourselves, and we can theoretically decide what we want our relationships with our partners to look like.

Our partners can be of any gender, and we can choose if we want to be in a polyamorous or a monogamous relationship – and what that means to us.

The choices are ours to make, if we become conscious and aware of our options, but what often makes relationships of any kind most complicated is our struggle with self-worth, self-love, expectations, hope, disappointment and communication.

Yet, it doesn’t have to stay that way – even if that is all we have experienced until now.

In this chapter of the CREATRIX School we will explore our (secret) desires, make peace with past relationships & experiences and work on creating the self-love, confidence & communication skills we need to have all we wish to have in our relationships.

It’s the new way to live, and it’s now easily available to you as well!

Have you found your soul mate(s) yet?

Are you looking to create more intimacy with your partner(s)?


Would you like to learn how to explore and safely communicate your desires and wishes?

In short: Do you feel like it’s time to really be yourself in your relationships so that your needs can be met, and you can love freely while living a happy, healthy, balanced and joyful life with the partner(s) of your dreams? If you are curious to find out how that might be possible for you, then I’d love to invite you to this new chapter in the CREATRIX School.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 1

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 1

Welcome to a New Chapter in the CREATRIX School

This month we are going deep to discover our wishes and desires when it comes to love and relationships, look at the roles we’ve outgrown and what we need to also get what we wish and desire.

So that from now on, we can give and receive love freely and joyfully in our relationships.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 2

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 2

What can we learn from your past relationships?

In this lesson, we have a look at how to cultivate happiness inside of us so that we can find happiness on the outside, and we look at releasing the heaviness we might carry from past relationships.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 3

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 1 – Pt. 3

On Self-Pity, Jealousy and Agency

In this lesson, we look at why it helps to take a step back and distance ourselves from people who face the same problems, why jealousy is never useful and what we can do instead.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 1

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 1

What Do You Need and Desire?

In this lesson, we begin to look into our desires. You will receive 13 questions and some other tools to help you get closer to what you wish for and desire.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 2

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 2

Exploring Our Desires

In this lesson, I will show you how to use the Wheel of Colours to find out what you need to feel safe, to feel respected and to cooperate with other people. I will also be sharing my answers to the questions from the previous lessons, to guide you to allow yourself to really go deep and be honest.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 3

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 2 – Pt. 3

The Romantic Archetypes

In this lesson, we will have a look at how we can use the romantic archetypes to help us see the roles we might slip into in romantic relationships and look into how we can release them so that we can be our true and authentic selves with others (and therefore also feel seen for who we are and not just for the roles we play).

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 1

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 1

How to apologize well and with love

This week we are starting to learn some new skills because now that we know more about ourselves, we can also begin to express what we wish for gracefully.
And we start by learning how to apologize well, because if we want to set new boundaries, we’re bound to tap into conflicts, and it’s good to know how to resolve them well as well.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 2

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 2

Thoughts on How to Communicate Well

Visualization can help us to get what we’d like to have and go where we’d like to go.

But on our way there, we also have to interact with other people, especially the ones we are or want to be in a relationship with.

Let’s find out how to do that best.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 3

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 3 – Pt. 3

Let the Sparks Fly – Let’s Create some Intimacy

In this lesson, we explore how to create intimacy in our relationships, what we need to feel safe to communicate our desires and create the kind of relationship and intimacy we wish for.

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 1

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 1

How to be free (with other people)

How would our qu_ing (best) self be in a relationship? How much would she love herself, and how would that show?
What difference would that make?
Let’s find out!

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 2

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 2

How to Energize Your Relationships

What does it take to energize what we love?
And how can we feel loved, accepted and appreciated?
What might be more difficult for LGBTQI* people? And how can we support and understand each other?

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RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 3

RELATIONSHIPS – Week 4 – Pt. 3

What have we learned?

In this last lesson we make sure that we’ve not forgotten about anything important, get clarity on the difference between our wants and our needs and remember what really is most important when it comes to relationships.

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Releasing stuck emotions


Treat yourself like someone you love


Hildegard’s cookies for the heart

If anyone can learn this, why don’t they?

Because many people don’t believe that they have the power to change their lives.

Even if they haven’t even tried — yet. Or because they’ve tried it in ways that didn’t work for them, as they likely wanted too much too fast – or didn’t dare enough.

There’s a certain comfort in not taking full responsibility for the situation we’re in, by blaming our circumstances, upbringing or current world events – and believing that it’s not up to us to create the changes we need and seek.

But if we want to create changes, it’s always up to us to start – and if we initiate a positive change once, we also know we can do it again.

The CREATRIX School invites you to find out for yourself, that you have the power to change anything you don’t like about your life, by giving you the right exercises to try and see for yourself, what else could be possible if you dare to be your true and authentic self.

It’s revolutionary, yet also very practical and down to earth.

And it’s not like you will not eventually be able to figure this all out by yourself, it might just take you a lot longer. So if you want guidance and get going now, this is for you.

January - Self // Self-Actualize!
I’d be happy to gracefully guide you through the process of your self-actualization, and to make this journey as easy, fun, exciting, surprising and successful for you, as possible.

Because I’ve just went through a lot of these changes myself.

From my experience, I know that, to create the changes, we wish for in our lives, we have to begin by taking full responsibility for our thoughts and actions and start being honest with ourselves.

From here we can find our own unique ways to be ourselves, to laugh, to love, to learn, to open up and to enjoy trying something and failing at it, as much as we enjoy mastering it.

Everything in life happens for us, not to us.

Every experience, everything we try and fail at, helps us to learn and grow and be better next time.

Because, as humans, that’s what we are here on earth for:

To grow and to learn, and to show and share our unique gifts and beauty, so we can contribute to the whole in our own unique ways and for the highest good for all.

If we begin to recognize our purpose and see our journey through life as a self-actualization journey, that will eventually allow us to be our highest, truest, most relaxed and abundant qu_ing self, it also allows us to open up to joy and love and abundance in our lives a bit more every day.

Anyone can do this, really – and it can even be a lot of fun.

But it can also be hard work, to face our shadows and begin to transform them into light.

And to do this confidently and continuously until we reach true inner peace might take some practice and encouragement, which can be difficult to bring up on your own.

Most people simply don’t know where to begin or what to do exactly, or don’t have the money to work with a personal coach or teacher on these topics individually.

Which is precisely why I founded the CREATRIX School.

This way, I can guide you through every step you need to take to get to where you want to go and bring clarity, confidence, joy, relaxation, abundance and playfulness into every area of your life – without having to pay full price for a personal coach.

Yet with the same success.

As every good coach will tell you, we are here to ask you the right questions, the answers you will always have to find for yourself.

And you do already have the answers.

You just haven’t taken the time, or had the right guide, or the confidence, to ask them and to listen for your answers.

But this can all change right now.

Is this the right course for you?

How to manifest your ideal relationship - two people holding their arms up to from a heart together
You have everything it takes to live the life your soul desires, that makes you happy and fulfils you.

And the more you recognize and live that truth or knowing, the more confident you will become in walking your unique path, and the more balanced your life will become.

To live a fulfilled, happy and successful life, we each have to ask ourselves some questions and find our unique answers to them.

These questions have been asked again and again by wisdom seekers all around the world in all centuries of human history, and are as easy or as difficult as: “Who am I? Why am I here?”

Or: “What do I need to eat to be healthy?”

Or, as we will see in this chapter: “How can I use my thoughts, beliefs and actions to meet the love of my life?”

And now it’s your turn to ask yourself these questions so you can walk through life having your own answers and with this knowing build a deep-rooted confidence and the understanding that you belong here and are exactly right as you are.

Once you have answered these questions for yourself and by yourself (though with guidance I provide for you in the CREATRIX School), you will find peace and calm and a sense of safety and clarity, that is difficult to imagine possible before you do.

Other people’s opinions, guidance and wisdom can be great and super helpful, but they never match your unique situation 100%, and so no guidance will ever be as good as the one you find within.

The trust, wisdom and confidence I experience now is something I wouldn’t have dared to imagine possible before I started my own self-actualization journey.

Real freedom, confidence & success are possible – for anyone who dares to look within and try new ways.

I feel incredible now, but I was pretty insecure, doubtful and unhappy in my past.

Without that past, however, I wouldn’t be here now – I wouldn’t know what it takes to get here and what kind of change is possible.

I’ve learned a lot because of the hardships I endured in my past, especially from the most difficult parts.

Today, I am genuinely happy about everything that has happened in my life, even the challenges that hurt really bad.

With every hurdle I overcame, new powers emerged and with every valley I crossed, the horizon opened up and showed me new options.

Today, I truly enjoy every step I take because I know it is and will continue to be worth it.

And I’d love for you to be able to develop this sense of ease and joy about everything that happens in our lives as well, because we are all here to explore, learn and grow and not to have it all figured out already.

If you believe new opportunities are waiting here for you, if you’d like to start building a deep-rooted trust in yourself and your abilities – then this is the right course for you.

All you have to do is get started.

Isn’t it selfish to focus on myself?

January - Self // Self-Actualize!

Especially when there are other people out there who are struggling much more?

If you ask this question, aren’t you struggling yourself?

Don’t you find it difficult to sleep peacefully at night because you worry about your personal situation and/or the state of the world?

The thing is, we can only safely reach out a hand to other people if we stand strong ourselves.

It’s the same reason why we are told to put an oxygen mask on ourselves first, before we help others – because if we don’t have air, or energy or love, or food, or hope to sustain ourselves, we cannot inspire and support other people – sustainably.

Equally, we can only create a better and more equal world, if we ALL have access to all the resources we need to live free, happy and abundant lives.

It’s why I will always encourage you to share everything you learn in the CREATRIX School with other people.

Sharing what you’ve learned deepens your knowledge and holds you accountable, and it opens doors for others to see things in a new and more self-empowered way.

If we think that we can or need to change the opinion of others to create change – we enter into a frustrating and often violent game – and, most of the time, cause more damage than good.

If, however, we live what we preach and set an example, show other people how it can be done, we are so much more likely to succeed.

The undeniable truth is, that to create change on the larger scale, we always have to start with ourselves – we have to be the change.

If we are strong, we can act powerfully, if we know how to be healthy, we can share that knowledge with others, if we love ourselves, we can share and give and receive love freely.

By embodying what we wish for, sharing what we have and giving freely, all that we want more of, can multiply indefinitely.

So, to create the change we wish for, we can only start by meeting our own needs first.

If we want to help other people, we have to know how to take care of ourselves.

Looking at it this way, we can realize that it’s never selfish to learn how to take good care of ourselves.

Everybody can have their dream job, live in their dream home and experience peace and joy – we just don’t all know how yet.

The reason why we have wars, exploitation, hate, fear, devastation, sickness, is because the people involved in these actions, don’t know how to solve things peacefully.

They are ruled by their egos.

But we, you and me, have a choice.

We can side with them, take sides, hate one and love the other – and with that continue to keep up a system that thinks killing, discrimination or exploitation of others can be justified – or we can feel helpless in the face of all the devastating things going on in the world, and so overwhelmed that we ignore it altogether or break down and become depressed.

Or we can choose to strengthen ourselves, to gently overcome our ego and begin to live a life in service for the highest good of all.

Which option do you think will bring the best results for you and all those whose lives you touch?

We can each make a start and begin to learn what it takes to live in peace with ourselves so that we can also live peacefully with other people.

Once we’ve found our purpose, our calling, our strength, our power, our unique gifts, we can share our knowledge and experiences with confidence so that, over time, all people who are interested and ready, will have access to the knowledge and can learn to live self-actualized, happy, healthy and successful lives.

In the end, it is up to each one of us to decide if it’s time to start living a life in which we can fully become ourselves, develop all our skills and ideas and grow with ease to live a life that matches our desires – and with that contribute to the well-being of all, or not.

No one will stop you, from becoming your true self, but you.

If you let other people and their opinions or judgement hold you back, it will not make you or them any happier or help you or them.

But if you want to begin changing your life for the better and inspire others to do the same – because they will see you change and shine and thrive, then you now have the opportunity to join the CREATRIX School, to bring peace, clarity, confidence, joy and abundance into every area of your life.

And you can easily find out if this is the right thing for you, by taking advantage of the free 30-day trial.

Do you want to begin living more joyfully and peacefully?

Is now the best time to start?

You will know that now is the right time to start opening up to the relationships you desire when you think that being in a relationship where you feel seen heard, understood, supported and loved for whom you are is what you would like to have.

Now is the right time, to open this chapter in the CREATRIX School, and in your life, if you want to bring clarity, confidence and connection into your life and into your relationships.

Now is the right time, if you would like to base your intimate relationships on love, on understanding, on forgiveness and be able to deal with whatever comes up feeling empowered and able to handle it, instead of insecure, or intimidated.

To dare to change something that has been a certain way for a big part of our lives might seem scary or challenging.

Yet, I dare you to try, as it is very possible to change things, and it is very freeing to feel empowered in a situation, that you thought you could not change.

Excuses as to why now is not the right time will always come up, but they are just what they are: EXCUSES.

In the end, the sooner you start to create a life according to your soul’s desire and align your body, mind and soul for your highest good and that of all, the sooner you will be able to fully enjoy your life as well.

So, let me give this question back to you:

Is it time for you to live in a way that nourishes you and makes you feel safe, happy, loved and at ease?

Is it time to start creating and living with the relationship of your dreams?

Then, yes, this is the very best time.

Am I the right guide for you?

Hi, I’m Verena and I have to admit that this is not an easy topic for me. But I also don’t let my fear stop me from opening up to new possibilities any more.

Yet, I cannot tell you the story of how I met the love of my life and that we’ve been together happily ever after (yet).

My last long-term relationship ended more than two years ago, and while I’ve been dating since and learned a lot from that, I’m also a bit excited about this course myself because I have learned from the last six courses I’ve created for the CREATRIX School, that when we consciously put our attention somewhere, things change for the better.

The CREATRIX School has and had an immense positive impact on my life as well.

And not just on mine. 

Verena Spilker stands smiling and thinks: Let's make this happen!

I’ve always been a careful observer.

While I may or may not have the relationship I wish for with another person yet, I do have something that I never thought I would ever have and that is a wonderful, kind and loving relationship with myself.

Over the last couple of years, actually, ever since my last breakup, everything has changed for me.

I’ve asked myself what I wanted for the first time, not what I thought I should have or be or what other people needed me to do or be, and I’ve completely changed the way I talk to myself.

I also know now that I can trust my inner guidance system 100%.

Verena Spilker stands smiling and thinks: Let's make this happen!

And I am happy to open up for what’s to come.

And I don’t create these courses alone, or based on my knowledge alone.

I get to channel a lot of the information, and it often feels more like I am guided through the process by my guides and the greater consciousness, so we can all be sure that all the most relevant information will be received.

This way it’s always an interesting and surprising process for me as well, and I honestly can’t wait to embark on this journey with you and see what it will result in.

(I’ve written this text before I created this chapter, and I’ll leave it like this for now, as you will also learn about the powerful impact this chapter had on me and my life, when you take it yourself.)

If you’re interested in my formal qualifications, then you can find them on the about page.

I’ve entered on my journey to become who I am now because I just wanted to be a little bit healthier and happier.

And so I began to look for ways to be that, which quickly turned into a couple of years of research and training.

I have an M.A. in cultural anthropology and political sciences, so how people work in this world has always been my main point of interest.

But what I found out in the last couple of years of research, and what I didn’t learn at University, is, that with just a few specific changes in the way we think and act, everything in our lives can change for the better – and this is true for anyone who is willing to be honest with themselves and who is not afraid of change.

We can all live abundant, happy and healthy lives – all we have to do this is to find out how and then practice it.

And we can also open up to love and healthy relationships – by beginning to create a healthy relationship with ourselves, tuning in to our desires and inner knowing, becoming more confident and loving and, most importantly, by allowing ourselves to receive.

So if you are looking to meet the love of your life, or just the love for the next while or if you’d like to mend a relationship that doesn’t make you completely happy (yet) – (and I can literally see your soul dancing and saying yes!) then I’d be happy to guide you through this process of self-actualizing, becoming your best self, or your qu_ing self and begin to live the life, you know you are meant to live and open up to love fully and freely.

And I can’t wait to welcome you to the CREATRIX School and to grow our wonderful community of people who dare to be generous, happy and free!

🌈 You have the power to create your reality.

Are you ready to go deep?

The CREATRIX School isn’t for everyone.

But it’s for you if you are ready to go deep and (re)discover all that you’ve been hiding and running away from.

We can all live in Heaven on Earth, but first we have to learn how to forgive and love ourselves and begin to understand that everything in life happens for us, not to us.

We can become the CREATRIXES of our lives, but for that, we have to be honest, clean up our messes, become aware of how much power and influence we have through every thought we think and every word that we say.

If you are willing to take full responsibility for your life, and are ready and brave enough to begin living, acting and speaking as your authentic self, then, this is for you.

You don’t need to bring anything, I’ll guide you towards the questions you can ask yourself to begin to become your own best guide, trust your intuition and allow yourself to be fully YOU – and possibly find love, happiness, freedom, creative expression and all that you’ve been wishing for on the way.

How Does the creatrix school work?

Every course covers a different topic or area of our lives, but is structured similarly:

In the first week, we assess what we have in life right now regarding each topic and begin to think about what we would like to have instead.

In the second week, we turn to our past and clean up, so we can let go of what doesn’t serve us any more, find hidden assumptions that have been blocking us and drop the baggage that has been making our lives difficult and heavy.

In the third week, we focus on what we want to create now and begin to take the steps that will get us where we want to go. That might mean acquiring new skills, reaching out to new people, cleaning up our homes, doing exercises, making art, taking on new practices and so on.

In the last week, we reflect and integrate. Because that is just as important as doing the work if we want to create lasting change.


Each week is split up into three separate lessons, which you find on this page.

To read the content takes between 5 and 20 minutes, depending on whether it’s more practical or theoretical.

To follow along 30 minutes will be your minimum weekly time investment.

But just reading the content will only bring you minimum results.

Every lesson comes with exercises and questions for you to work on.

The more time you invest here, the deeper you go, the better your results will be.

Don’t let this time commitment discourage you, though.

This is an investment you make now, which will save you tons of time in the future.

Because if you invest time now, to find clarity about your life and your desires, you will win this time back many times: by not making the same mistakes over and over again, by knowing what to do and how and by simply being good to yourself instead of boycotting what you really want with distractions, avoidance and procrastination.

What else is included?

Each course or chapter comes with a playlist, recipes and rituals, so we can use all our senses to joyfully integrate the topics we are working on.

This also helps to make the changes we create on the inside visible on the outside.

We will also refer to some chapters of my upcoming qu_ing book, which you will get access to through the course content, and in some chapters we will work with the Archetype Oracle Cards Deck I created.

The cards and descriptions we’ll be using will also be made available to print if you join the CREATRIX School.

There is a private Facebook Group you will be invited to join, and I offer bi-weekly Q&As, so you can get all the questions answers that might come up along the way.

In some chapters, we will also look at our individual Wheel of Colours, as it is a super useful tool to bring more clarity into our lives and to find out what we each need in certain situations.

As I make the Wheel of Colours individually for each person, it’s not included in all course packages, but you will get a discount if you join the CREATRIX School. And you can also participate without knowing your Wheel of Colours. It might just be more fun.

Now all that’s left for you to do is to join and see for yourself.