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Let the sparks fly – let’s create some intimacy
Dear Creatrix,
What a month it has been so far.
How do you feel?
In the last two lessons, we looked at communication, especially when it comes to conflicts, and we looked at apologies.
Both are super important to think and talk about when it comes to being in relationship with other people and if we want to handle conflict gracefully.
But of course, relationships aren’t only about resolving conflicts. 😉 ❤️
Next week we will take some time to look at activities to do together as a couple, when we start integrating everything we’ve learned in this chapter into our qu_ing persona.
And today we are going to talk about intimacy, openness and how to speak about and explore desires and wishes together.
For that, I think, it might actually make sense to bring in the romantic archetypes again.
Do you remember which ones you identified with the most?
Our ego can very easily create an idea and ideal of who we think we have to be when we are in a relationship.
We looked at the lover, the rationalist, the ice-qu_ing and some other archetypes in week two of this chapter.
We could probably also bring in the hero_ine, the healer, the nymph and whoever else we might think of or possibly identify with, when we think we have to be a certain way to be worthy of love or to get what we want in a relationship.
As we’ve seen in the lesson about the romantic archetypes, playing a role keeps us from feeling true connection.
And while it might seem cool or safe to hide behind any of these archetypes or roles, if we don’t show our authentic, open, honest and often messy, traumatized, tired, but also loving, funny, nerdy, quirky and kind selves, we won’t be seen for who we really are and therefore continue to feel like something is missing.
When we focus on who or how we think we should be, or what has kept us safe in the past, then we cannot be present to the moment or the person we are with – and might miss experiencing both.
We already went pretty deep this month when we explored our desires, and talked about the things we wish for in our relationships so that we can become more present and aware and create better, stronger, more honest and more loving connections.
Today, we will look at what this kind of intimacy can look like in practice.
What do you need to relax?
I have to say that we will only be able to go so far in this lesson, but if you’d like to dive deeper into the subject, I can really recommend Caffyn Jesse’s book Science for Sexual Happiness.
It is full of exercises and tools to explore what we need to feel safe in our bodies and safely explore pleasure and sexuality even if it’s connected to trauma.
If sexual intimacy is something you find difficult, you are in really good hands with her.
I can also recommend Nino from Verkörperungsatelier (I made his website :)) if you’d like to work with someone directly. We’ve met a few times and I really trust him.
But now, let’s get started.
Photo by Dainis Graveris on Pexels.
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