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← CHAPTER OVERVIEW
How to Energize Your Relationships
Dear Creatrix,
Wow. This has been quite an intense chapter, hasn’t it?
Because of this, we will begin to review the first week today, and the second and third one in the next lesson, so I can add a few missing pieces that I found and thought about as we do that – like how to energize our relationships.
But let’s start here:
Did you do your homework, aka the exercises from the last lessons?
What happened? How did it all go?
I have to say that, funny enough, everything I wrote about when it comes to experiencing pleasure and desire for the last lesson, and some things I just thought and haven’t written about, actually happened in between writing the last lesson on Friday and writing this one, today, Monday, with someone I only met last Wednesday :).
So I can’t even encourage you enough to do these exercises and get very clear on what you want so that it can actually come true.
With these new experiences, I can fine-tune what I wish for the long-term, so that I can have even more pleasurable experiences in the future.
This really is the practice: We visualize, then we receive, then we experience and learn, then we adjust our picture and repeat, until we find out how we can really align with our essence and our soul’s desires.
This way, we won’t only understand ourselves better and learn what we really want, we can also see how powerful we truly are and how each and every thought really influences our lives.
Changing our beliefs isn’t easy, but it is quite doable, as you are hopefully beginning to experience for yourself.
If we love and forgive ourselves, bring in patience, don’t get upset when things don’t work out, don’t take what other people do personally and really acknowledge and become grateful for the things that do work out, life becomes incredibly joyful.
I find it so fascinating to see how everything in the end comes down to how we think about something and what we believe to be possible or not, and that all that is stopping us from having everything that we wish for is self-doubt.
So whenever self-doubt creeps up, we can come back to the assurance that if things didn’t work out, yet, it is because something even better will happen – as soon as we are ready.
And this is true for all of us.
If we truly trust, we are free to be and do and have what we want.
So figuring out what we want is essential, and the existential key element for our lives.
And for that, we first have to try and experience different things and be attentive to and aware of what happens and if we actually like it or not.
That way, after trying it, we know that we might actually want something other than we thought and that’s fine too.
If we do this with a lot of self-love and compassion and patience, it will be easy to see how we are getting clearer and clearer and more in tune with our true tone and desires.
And then we can live accordingly.
We’ve talked about this in the beginning:
To be able to experience love, energy, passion & connection in a relationship, or just a casual pleasurable encounter, with other people, we first have to awaken and allow for all that we wish for in ourselves.
We will not be able to trust that another person has good intentions if we don’t.
We will not be able to see that another person loves us if we don’t.
And this is not only true for romantic relationships. Even great friendships require self-love.
Any kind of relationship becomes a lot better, more stable, more free, when we have self-love and know how to take care of ourselves.
Because that’s how we become reliable and trustworthy partners.
We can’t be there and take care of other people, if we can’t take care of ourselves.
We can’t be in a stable relationship when we’re not stable and aligned in our beliefs, thoughts and actions.
We can’t let people in, if we are not even honest with ourselves.
That’s why we learn how to be honest, open, explorative, and to actually understand what we want and need.
Because only when we’re fully resourced ourselves, we also have the resources to be kind and patient, open and loving with other people.
And you don’t have to take only my word for this.
As it is, when we focus on things, more things like them come up, so this video, which is quite fitting, caught my attention this morning.
You can click on the picture or here to watch it on Instagram.
In the video, Viola Davis is asked to give advice on love and relationships, and she says the following:
“I would say, and I tell this to my daughter, that you are the love of your life.
And I think that when you start with yourself, loving yourself, creating boundaries, advocating for yourself, being honest with yourself, not being so good, that you’re not being honest, especially as a woman, then I think everything grows from there.
To love yourself is the greatest seed you can plant in the world to create great friendships and relationships.”
And her partner adds:
I thought this was really sweet, and I also think that, just by looking at them, you can see how well this is working out for them.
They don’t need reassurance from the other person, they both are their own person, trust themselves and stand comfortably in their power, and from there they can meet each other with admiration and respect.
They worked out how to get there and you can too. You are already working it out, by doing these exercises and finding out who you are.
If they had known how to be this way all their lives, they wouldn’t appreciate and value it so much now.
They also had to figure out how to get there, just like you and me and everyone else.
But they did, and you can do that too.
When we act in alignment with our true self and desire, knowing that we are incre…