Photo by me from my archive.
One of the things I find most difficult is to do something that is different from what everybody else is doing. Maybe not even doing, but thinking.
They say that you are the average of the five people you surround yourself with the most. The people I surround myself with are spiritual teachers, wise people, the best in their field when it comes to personal development, finding peace, living peacefully and with grace. They are not always the same people, but some I hang out with daily for a period of time.
It’s easy to be in their company, it’s inspiring, and it is peaceful. It’s created a whole new kind of trust to mostly listen to people who do not have one bad word to say about anyone or anything. But the conversation also only goes one way. Not that I’ve felt like I ever needed to add anything. I just listen, take it to my heart and am grateful, for new perspectives and knowledge.
And of course, I try to put it into practice. I think the dogs enjoy it too. There’s so much less impatience in me. I sing to them in the mornings so that we can celebrate the beginning of a new day together.
I sit with them until they fall asleep, before I go to bed. And in between we have long walks and enjoying a lot of outdoor times.
I don’t feel lonely any more, being by myself. I’m not afraid of quiet any more. I seek it, I love it.
When I don’t know which direction to go or what to think or do about something, I sit quietly and wait. For an answer to come. It always does.
I know that I have to now take what I found out to be around other people and bit by bit see how it works when I’m around people who are not as peaceful and quiet.
I’m grateful for the changes around me that give me that opportunity. And I notice the difference.
Things that used to upset me, don’t upset me any more. There is still the habitual thought sometimes, that comes up to say: Oh, but you should say something about that! But then I see that there’s no reason because it really doesn’t bother me any more. I can just take it and be grateful for the opportunity that came up for me to realize I don’t have to be upset.
So more people, more growth. More chances to try new ways of experiencing things.
Yesterday it finally clicked and I understood that there is no lack. That I was just making it up.
Yet, I still experience a fear to say it. Because I know that there will be people reading this who won’t believe it. And the fear of exclusion is real. In theory, I know it doesn’t matter. In practice, it still breaks my heart a little.
But I also know how to take care of my heart now. How to nurture it when it hurts. So, I suppose nothing can be lost, really.
I hope you have a good day, and I can’t wait to find out what you will have to say about all of this.