The more you begin to believe in yourself, the more you will also see that you can really trust yourself, and that will strengthen your trust in others as well. And the more you believe in and trust other people and this world – the easier it will become to create the changes you seek, and the more your life & the world around you will begin to actually change for the better.

If you’d like to see and experience that for yourself, you can order your personal Wheel of Colours from me, join the CREATRIX School to bring clarity, confidence & connection to every area of your life, or submit your business to get listed in the Sustainable Business Directory.

Or you can invite me to speak or read cards on your podcast or event, write for your blog or magazine or to develop a tailor-made learning/empowerment programme for your company/employees or for yourself.

Am I the right guide for you?

Are you looking to become more confidently YOU? To create a life on your terms? To create the life of your dreams? And to learn more about your gifts, talents and superpowers?

Would you like to learn how to heal and grow and trust yourself more or even completely, and to believe that anything can indeed be possible for you? But you are not so sure, yet, if I’m the right person to show you to activate all your incredible powers?

Well, then come and meet me to find out.

I know that choosing the right guide for your self-actualization journey can be tricky, especially when you are still a bit insecure and don’t always trust your choices, yet – that’s why I will tell you a lot about myself here, so you can get a better understanding about who I am, how I got here, where I come from and why I do what I do and how – because I’d love for you to feel safe here, and see for yourself if my approach and the way I see the world speaks to you.

I would never want you to commit to something that is not right for you. This is the reason why you can get a free 30-day trial for the CREATRIX School, to find out if it’s the right thing for you – before making a financial commitment. I honestly want to support you to be able to learn to trust yourself (again), fully, effortlessly – starting with making the right decision for yourself, today, and then continuing to do so for the rest of your life.

I also very consciously chose to keep the CREATRIX School open for you to join at any point – because I don’t want to add more stress to both of our lives with deadlines or artificial pressure, by limiting the access, just to get more sales – and then for you to make a hasty decision out of fear, just to have regrets later.

Try it out for free, see for yourself, and then decide if it feels right for you – and if it does, stay.

Easy. As it is part of my mission to help you to learn to trust yourself again, I’ll start by trusting you first. And by believing in you to make the right decisions for yourself from now on and I know that if you decide to work with me, it means we’re meant to connect and walk through life together for a while.

I want to be a living example of what it means to live with trust and not fear, wherever you meet and see me and in all of my work – so that you too may dare to step so much into your power that you start making your own rules and begin to live a stress-free life that’s built on trust.
Because it feels so good. 💖

That being said, I’m also always honest, and as I see it, our world will change a lot in the upcoming years. So, if it isn’t the most important thing already, nothing will be more important in OUR FUTURE than being able to trust ourselves and our inner guidance.

Once we do, we can always feel safe and confident, and know exactly what to do and why, or how to reach out to others, in the best way possible, in any situation. Trusting ourselves helps us to choose where we are going or what we want to create, and it allows us to direct life instead of having to react to what others create – and with that, it becomes easy to enjoy life, love, peace, success and adventure on the way.

And if you wish and are ready, to let go of the negative beliefs you have about yourself, that hold you back, and keep you from experiencing all your incredible powers, and would like to begin to build your trust in yourself, in your innate superpowers, if you want to start following your calling(s) and your bliss and explore this world from a new perspective, one where you are the centre of the universe and where you begin to consciously create your world around you, to become the CREATRIX of your world, or if you just want to find out if that could actually be possible – then a new chapter of your unique and amazing life may start today. All you have to do is join the CREATRIX School.

Because when you start to step into your true power now, this will not only change your life for the better in ways you might not even be able to understand yet, you will soon also be able to help, and lead others on their way to more joy, freedom and peace as well.

And this is how I got here:

The Beginning

My entering into this world wasn’t easy. In fact, I (almost) died and had to be brought back to life – and my feeling is, that this somehow enabled me to be a bit in-between the worlds.

I always understood universal (spiritual) laws, talked to my guides, god, passed relatives and just couldn’t figure out why the people around me didn’t live a life that would make sense (to me, source energy/god, or the spiritual laws) or why they made life so complicated for themselves and me.

But as it is, when we grow up around people who only know things to be a certain way, and trust and believe in those ways, rules and norms more than in themselves, they try to pass those ways on to their children. When people have learned that restrictions and limitations mean safety, they understandably want to pass this understanding on to the next generation, to keep them safe as well, it’s a natural process, and one I was definitely born to question – because these things do not keep us safe – in fact they make us sick – and I always knew that.

Whenever I said something true (according to spiritual laws), though, I was told that that’s not how the world works.

Even though it is.

But it wasn’t how humans around me lived, or operated or what they believed in, at the time – and I wasn’t strong enough yet to trust myself more than them and to go my own way.

So, I tried to fit in. And to hide all I knew. And while I might have looked fine from the outside, and well-adjusted, and loved and respected by my peers – I wasn’t well, far from it.

I was very sad and lonely.

It felt like I was only training to become a good actor and acting to be something I wasn’t, just to not be alone or told I’m wrong or weird.

And I (im)patiently waited, to finally be old enough, to leave and find other people who were more like me or who might have the answers to all the questions I had.

I wanted to find out who I really was, and why I was here, and why everything seemed so odd and wrong.

And it took me a bit more than 20 years, after leaving my first home, to arrive at a place not in this world, but within myself, where I finally feel like I can happily, confidently and successfully live a life that makes sense to me and where I can authentically, joyfully and weirdly be me.

I have found all the answers, I live according to the spiritual or universal laws, and quote my guides, or ideas that come directly from source energy, no matter where I am, or who I am with.

Now, today, I can live in a way that feels right, where I feel right, and in which I can love and be loved and feel like I belong FOR REAL, for who I am and not for the suppressed and accepted version of me – independent of what others do or how they live, what they think or say – because I believe in myself and I unconditionally and unapologetically love myself – before all else – and that’s really all it takes – and also nothing selfish. Quite the opposite, in fact, and you will see why if you keep on reading.

And while I have all of that, I also know that I’m not done, that I’m here to learn and grow and to continue to change – as to adapt to and grow with the changing circumstances is my purpose, my journey – and it might be yours as well.

Because when we stop pushing and running after illusions, and instead arrive right here and now and find inner peace, within, in oneness and in our wholeness, then we can also enjoy this wonderful and magical journey that life then becomes.

I was able to meet myself, and see how connected I am, why I’m here, where I came from and what I’m supposed to do now – but I also know what it feels like to think there’s something wrong with me, as I felt like that for forty years.

And because I was able to arrive here from feeling utterly wrong and misunderstood most of my life, I can now tell you with absolute certainty that even if it can feel like this, nothing is wrong with you either, in fact, nothing could ever be wrong with you, or anyone for that matter.

Every person on this planet, and that includes you, is wonderful and perfect as they are, with all their unique qualities and ways, despite the mistakes they or you made and make and even if there are many things they or you don’t know yet or that you are unsure about.

You are still perfect, as you are perfectly on your way to remembering who you truly are and begin to realize that you can become much more than you might dare to believe right now.

And that’s the only truth.

So, if you ever felt like you don’t quite fit in, or if the way the world currently seems to work, the demands or expectations others have for you and your current circumstances don’t make you completely happy, if your life right now doesn’t allow you to relax and enjoy your life and if the people around you make it hard for you to be your authentic self, or also, if you think you’ve done everything right, but sometimes things, really just don’t work out the way you wish for them to work out, then you’ve come to the right place because, you’ve found me, and I’m here to help you to fully arrive in your life as well, and I’d love to show you, how you too can stand in your power and share all your inner and outer beauty with the world and have all you wish for – because all it takes is change of perspective.

So, because I felt so odd, and like I didn’t belong, I always wanted to go out and learn more about the world, and see if there are other people out there like me. And as I grew up and was a teenager before the internet existed, I used the only possibilities I had to learn more, as I had quickly learned all, there was to learn, in my home and school, and because I couldn’t find any people like me where I was.

As soon as I learned how to write, I had a pen-friend in a different part of Germany (I was born in Hamburg, in the north of Germany). I even went to visit her on my own, when I was eleven or twelve years old, to go to school with her – and it fascinated me to see how school and life worked somewhere else.

The second I learned English, I started writing to people all around the world.

We exchanged music (recorded cassette tapes which we mailed around the world), photos, letters and cut out pages from magazines to learn about each other’s lives and cultures.

I had friends in Australia, Japan, Malaysia, Indonesia, Ethiopia, Lithuania, Yemen, Israel, France, Ireland, Korea and so many more places – with some I’m still in touch.

My friend from Estonia disappeared when the political system changed in her country, and I still sometimes wonder what might have happened to her, and that wasn’t even the first time I recognized how fragile life was.

When I was eight or nine, one of my classmates died because he fell off a tree, and that really shocked me, as he was my age and up to that point I was not aware that people my age, that my friends could die, and that that meant, I could die. I eventually recovered, and moved on, but I was also changed by this, and it definitely brought up more questions.

When I was 17 years old, I then went to the US as an exchange student, to go to High School in San Diego. This time I learned about life on a different continent, in a different family, in a different school.

As a teenager, I started to have seizures and was diagnosed with Epilepsy, after some more deaths in my family, so I was only allowed to stay in the US for six months, as my parents were understandably worried about me and my safety and well-being, even though I was on medication, and so the seizures had stopped, and I saw no reason for this, and my dad’s employer would have paid for me to stay there for a whole year.

And deep down I also knew that the seizures and everything else had to do with where and how I lived, so being somewhere else seemed actually beneficial to me, but again I was unable to say that yet and confused why no one else saw that.

After six months in the US, I felt like I had only just arrived, and not yet had a chance to really experience myself there and learn all I could learn, as I still didn’t know what was wrong with me. I fit in easily, made friends and had a good time, but I was still me, and also felt disconnected and odd.

But I’m also not one to give up easily, so I made another plan and applied to every organization that would consider me to volunteer somewhere for a year after graduating from High School, without having to pay for it (as my parents saw no need for me to go abroad again). This time I ended up in Ukraine – something that changed my life forever.

Now, as life so kindly always had my best interested in mind, I did not get what I (thought) I wanted, but what I needed.

My idea of leaving was all about learning and exploring and finding out more about this world, and finding belonging, but I also pictured myself doing this while being fully independent and free, I was 19 after all.

And, I’m laughing as I write this because, 19-year-old Verena, brought up in the German suburbs, with food from the supermarket, a warm home and running water every day of the first 19 years of her life – ends up in a village, with a few hours of electricity per day, an outhouse, a wood burning stove and no one near who spoke any of the languages she knew (and she knew three).

At the time, the unemployment rate in Ukraine in that area was 80% and people lived from what they grew in their gardens – so instead of celebrating my freedom and living my independence, I had to find out how to eat and be warm in a place where nothing I knew was relevant in any way.

And as I’m stubborn, and I wanted to learn, even though it was incredibly hard, and I was homesick and crying so much in the beginning, giving up never even occurred to me. And I’m glad I persevered, as this time I did get to learn some of the things that I was looking for. But I’ll say more about this in a second.

Another thing I found interesting, though, was the ideas people had about me for doing what I did. My parents didn’t understand why I wanted to go to live somewhere else at all, neither did anyone else I knew. And honestly, neither did I, I just knew I wasn’t happy where I was and hoped I could be happy somewhere else.

There was always this call I heard that said that there is more. More to explore and more to learn and see and experience and know and the hope, I guess, that someday, somehow, somewhere, I wouldn’t feel like the odd one out.

People in Germany were impressed that I went to Ukraine, a country few people even knew existed in 2000, ‘to help the poor people in the East’ (which I didn’t – I went there to meet myself and learn more about this world – I did not feel like I could help anyone, really) – while the Ukrainians thought that I was clearly the poor one as to them, it seemed like I didn’t have a family who loved me enough to keep me safe or that was careless enough to allow me to go so far from home without knowing anyone there, or having anyone there to protect me – so they took me in as their own – even though I had a loving family, I just didn’t feel like they understood me, which I now know, was because I couldn’t express myself, and they just didn’t have the tools or awareness to help me with that.

And even though the independent part of me resisted at first, as the last thing I wanted was another family and more people telling me what to do or how to be, but I soon saw that it was the only way for me to survive there and actually the sweetest thing – even though it was difficult to be treated like a child again. Or actually more like a baby because I had to learn every word and every rule and move from scratch.

With the help, and patience and kindness of lovely strangers, I was able to see so many new and different things, though, and I met new people, learned a new language (Hungarian) and how to grow vegetables, how to cook the traditional dishes of the region, how to chop wood, how to do the dishes and wash myself without running water, I adopted a cat and a dog, and all of this helped me realize even more, if I had not already learned this from my pen friends, that I am a part of this world and not of my country or the place where I was born.

Because even though I felt odd, all I was, was human. Just like everyone else, no matter how they lived, how differently we spent our days or where we were and how odd we felt, and for the first time I felt loved for just that, loved for just being alive.

The first shift

So, I got the confirmation of what I had assumed before I started on this adventure, and what I had been wondering about all my life until then:

That what I grew up with, the way people felt, the way people saw things, the way people lived, was just one way of living, among many others, all equally valid – and each deeply rooted in and depending on the historical twists and turns of the place and the stories people told each other about their lives – but that nothing just was, or that there was no inherently right or wrong way of seeing things, or living life, just different ways that might be more beneficial in certain situations than others and that helped people survive until now.

And experiencing this variety first hand, seeing that I can live in the ways I grew up with (or not), and that I could learn the ways of the Roma community in Ukraine, and live with those (or not) as well, made me realize that these were all just learned behaviours that said nothing about me or any other person, other than what they had learned and are used to.

And I realized that what we have just learned and got used can be changed.

I just didn’t understand yet, why people didn’t want to change, even when the way they lived was so clearly harmful to themselves and others.

So, despite my naïveté about what it would be like to live somewhere else on my own, I am so happy that I was daring and desperate enough to go and that I followed that call to go out and explore.

Most of the lovely people who adopted me and helped me when I was there, were part of the Roma community in Ukraine, and I owe a lot of what I have, know and share and love about life now, to them.

Through them, I had the privilege to learn about unconditional love and community and being there for each other in joy and pain, like I feel I could have never learned in the west.

We cooked, we laughed, we cried, we feared, we danced, we sang, we were too cold and too hot, took long train rides together, told stories and learned a lot from each other – and just enjoyed being together.

There I was odd because I’m German and didn’t know a lot of the things they knew, but how I was, was never considered wrong, just different, and I was loved anyway.

In fact, they went through great lengths to make sure I feel like I’m loved and like I belong. And that came right from their hearts. They didn’t try to love me, they just loved me because I was a human and alive – naturally.

And, of course, as a side effect I also learned to see and experience racism, segregation and systemic exclusion for the first time from the inside, through the eyes of people living within the margins of society, who taught me how to live there, who loved me and who I loved, who I was living with, and with whom I got to witness and experience police brutality and randomness, dehumanization and acts of racism every single day.

I’m still friends with many of the people who really gave me a lot of life, and I saw the whole village grow up over the last twenty years. I have four godchildren in Ukraine and a part of my heart will always be in that village in the west of Ukraine, where I first learned about unconditional love.

(I also wrote something about my thoughts on Ukraine, especially about the situation of the Roma community, at the beginning of the war, which you can read about here.)

So, while I had found a major piece of what I was looking for in life in that village – how to live with unconditional love and seeing that the rules and norms of society are just made up and can vary and with it who’s right or wrong, guilty or innocent – without really knowing beforehand that I was looking for that – I also intuitively knew that this wasn’t all I was looking for and that there were still more things I wanted to find out about, as I still didn’t feel right and that the answers for those unknown questions were still waiting elsewhere.

And so I ventured on to go to University in Germany, first in Göttingen and then in Leipzig, to study Cultural Anthropology, Political Sciences and Russian.

The second shift

University taught me a lot about how to really dive deep into a topic and explore it fully, new words, many theories and ways to see things, history, herstory and how to question everything, dissect, deconstruct and put it back together again, most of the important things, I find, were once more learned in community.

And this new episode in my life also gave me a chance to experience gender discrimination first hand, and that shaped how and who I am now as well.

The moment I started college, I also started a radio show with a friend, which I moderated for more than 15 years, while living in different cities and hosting it with different friends over the years (because the whole time we were the only girls moderating a music centred radio show at the station). I also started DJing (and was one of the few female DJs), worked at a record shop (only girl there), and organized parties and events – and the first non-mainstream queer parties in both Göttingen and Leipzig.

Music had always helped me through life before and has always been an integral part of my life – but until I started working in these fields, I had never thought much about my gender and always felt quite comfortable in traditionally male fields.

Starting to work in the record shop, though, I felt invisible for the first time because no one thought a girl could work there, and I began to question, or become more conscious of my gender identity and what was expected of me because of it.

Yet, I’m no one to just accept injustice, or these kinds of limitations, and I always see what others see or think, or expect, and while I didn’t always dare to speak my truth, it also never made me question myself, or my belief in the inherent goodness of all, I only wondered how people could think that way and treat others so badly.

And so I began to fight for our rights. I even started my own NGO and cultural platform, Transnational Queer Underground because I wanted to do something about the discrimination we experienced as queer people, and to create a worldwide solidarity network, sharing privileges by exhibiting art and publishing stories for people who were not allowed to express freely in their home countries, and others. And to showcase queer diversity and the different views and experiences of queer people worldwide. I ran this for some years quite successfully and learned a lot more about this world through it as well, but at some point it got too big to just do it on the side, so I decided to give it up.

Then, after graduating from University, I moved to Berlin and started working for two NGOs focusing on strengthening the rights and acceptance of the Roma minority in Europe and to fight systemic racism, exclusion and discrimination.

And before graduating, I volunteered for two Human Rights NGOs in Ukraine as well, living there for another year while writing my Master thesis, and translating many of the Human Rights violations, especially concerning the Roma community, that happened in Ukraine since World War II (it was a lot!).

But again, it’s never just the obvious things, that I found upsetting, even though those are upsetting enough – what I saw everywhere I worked and wherever I turned, were super engaged, good-hearted and talented people, who were lacking the funds, the resources, the support and even just the recognition to actually do the work they could and would love to do and that included myself. We had all the good ideas and the knowledge – but no resources and no power to do something about it.

And at that point I was utterly confused by that as, I felt, I had done everything right. I, we all had the ideas and qualifications, and I didn’t know yet what else could be missing.

But somehow the voice came back to tell me I could do something about that, I just didn’t know how yet. So, I ventured on to collect more data.

Now, because I am someone who is born with special gifts (just like everyone else), but I didn’t know or acknowledge mine yet, seeing everyone struggle with the circumstances and each other in their work settings, made me extremely uncomfortable.

One of my special gifts is that I know many things about people that are not obvious to them themselves or others.

Often, after a while, I can feel their whole life stories around them and clearly see why they act how they act and are how they are, so working in an office surrounded by conflicts and life stories that were swirling all around me, was nothing I could do long term – I really thought everyone could see and know these things as well, as it was so natural to me and I didn’t understand why people weren’t reacting to it, or more accurately, how they managed to ignore all of that so well. Because I had learned from an early age on that it was safer to try to ignore or suppress my magic, and I continued to do so at that point, and we always expect from others what we expect from ourselves – until we become conscious of this and learn to see others for who they are.

In fact, I saw my inability to suppress and ignore these things, as a personal failure – one of the many things I thought were wrong with me. But I was also practical and resilient.

And so I put two and two together – my web design skills that I had picked up along the way – and my deep wish to help create a more just world, and started freelancing as a web designer for NGOs, organizations and artists.

But the same problems I had noticed previously, reappeared.

Like in the NGOs I had worked at before, the people I now worked with, didn’t believe in themselves fully either, or really thought that they had the power to actually create the changes they wanted to see – and I started to question if we could do it as well – it just seemed more and more like the odds were against us and to continue the way we did, would never create the change we were looking for.

We all did the best we could, but it just didn’t seem to be enough and everyone I worked with and knew was overworked and underpaid, while those in power, or with access to money and resources did not seem to see the problems we saw or have the highest good of all in mind – at all.

I was hopeful and hopeless at the same time.

I coped and got by. There was work and then there was music, parties, friends, love, joy, creativity and night-life.

There were our ideals at night, and our inability to live up to them during the day.

The crisis

And at some point I just had enough of all of that. I thought about suicide – A LOT, but I also wasn’t ready to give up just yet.

Somehow, I still felt more hope than despair, and had a deep inner knowing that there was something I could do to change things.

I still didn’t know what or how yet – at all – I just knew that the way I lived and what I saw around me was not how I wanted to continue to exist. The struggle was just too real.

So, like I set out as a 19-year-old to learn more about this world, I wondered again where I could go, or what I could do to find answers to all these new questions I had.

And I would like to add one more thing here:

When I lived at home, as a child and teenager, I felt like I didn’t belong because I was told again and again that how I was, was wrong, or that I needed to be different to be liked or to succeed, and while my family loved me and only wanted the best for me and did the best they could, and I think my friends also truly loved me, I always felt like I couldn’t be all I am, or my authentic self because they just weren’t interested in the same things or wanted to talk about the things I was interested in, and so I felt lonely.

I could fit in and act like them, but my heart just wasn’t in it.

In Ukraine, life wasn’t about talking, life was much more about doing and so it was easier to feel like I belonged, but I still hadn’t found anyone I could talk to, about the things that interested me, like the meaning of life and why things are they way they are.

When I started college, I did. I found the people who were just as confused and disappointed by this world, and we discussed a lot of the things I was interested in, and while we could agree on some things, like structural inequality, music-related topics or political issues, there were other things, like spirituality, that were still a no-go.

So for a long time, I felt happy enough that I felt understood in some ways, which was better than in no ways, but at the same time, I still couldn’t fully be me.

And for that reason, I still thought that something was wrong with me because I found something that I was looking for but still wasn’t happy, and that’s why I struggled. And I didn’t yet know that to change anything of what I experienced, I had to change myself, and not the things that were odd about me, but how I saw them and myself.

So, at that moment, when I was depressed, suicidal, drinking too much and pretty lost, I didn’t set out to create changes for myself, by changing me, I wanted to find a way to be happier and healthier, sure, yet, like I mentioned before, I literally feel the struggles of all others as well, much easier actually than my own, so I wanted to find out what it would take to create something that would make life easier for all these beautiful souls that I saw around me, and help all of us to thrive instead of continuing to struggle to create positive changes in the world without much success.

I wanted to find out how we could combine our powers to actually be able to create the changes we all wanted. And because I am the person that I am, I always understood myself as a part of oneness, and wanted to help other people suffer less, so that in return I would suffer less.

It’s a complicated and confusing way to be.

And as most people aren’t wired that way, it’s hard for them to understand me and for me to understand them.

But there I was, looking back at how all my life, I could see the problems people had – and the solutions – yet, whenever I said something, people wouldn’t listen, or say, they’ll do something else anyway and this left me utterly confused.

I wasn’t aware that the solutions weren’t so obvious to other people as well, and that apparently I had to spell it out so they could understand or that even if they understood, they would still rather do what’s convenient or comfortable than what would be the best thing to do for all because they didn’t see that.

Today, I believe that we all come to this world to do one or more special jobs to help the advancement of all – it’s just a matter of whether we follow that calling or not, and sometimes it takes a lot of time to figure it out.

But lucky for us, the same problems reappear, no matter how many times we turn away from them – until we begin to take steps towards resolving them, and eventually begin to see that these problems are there for a reason. And that each problem is there to help us recognize ourselves, our role, our callings, our power and then, to resolve them.

And at this point it became pretty obvious that this was true in my case as well, as I had worked in so many different jobs and fields and in two different countries, yet what I saw or noticed was always the same: good intentions, exhaustion, limited resources and only tiny effects.

But, I just still had no idea what to do about it, as I had not yet realized that the solutions I saw were not obvious to all.

Again there was this understanding, deep down, that I wasn’t powerless, some memories of my inner magic were still alive, but years of being told that how I saw things was wrong, or that I wasn’t powerful enough to change anything, and seeing discrimination, racism, sexism, ablism in action every day, and all the limitations life presented me with, left me confused about whom or what to trust and what to believe in, really.

And so I began to look for clarity and alternatives – again.

I first quit alcohol and cigarettes and late nights, then I changed my diet, then I quit the city (Berlin) and then my job.

I needed a break, to think clearly and feel myself again, to free myself from all the stories I heard and adopted since I started college, and every step I took just wasn’t enough.

I could see where my life and all of our lives were headed, still, and it was nowhere nice.

At that point, I wasn’t even 40, and I had lost so many friends to suicide or drug related health issues, or cancer, and those who were still alive, and that included me, were either functioning well and arranged themselves with what was, or depressed, or both.

No one I knew was happy.

Sure, we all had happy moments, but no one I knew was content with life or felt like anything and everything was possible for them – it seemed like life was just about limitations and compromises. And the voice, my magic, kept saying: This is not right.

But what was then?

At that point, I realized that I had never even met a happy person or someone who was confident and excited about what they did or how they lived in a believable way (I see misalignment, so I can’t be fooled here). And my friends in Ukraine, who lived in severe poverty, were actually, in many ways happier, and definitely kinder and more loving than anyone I knew who had money.

People around me were either ignorant and cold (and being unaware of their love and sweetness) or sad and disillusioned (and being unaware of their passion and power) or happy and poor (and unaware of their ability to change that) or somewhere in between.

But while we clearly all have and had the capacity to be and feel and see it all because I can see it all in all people, as when I connect to people’s souls it’s all pure love – yet people mostly do or did not act in alignment with that.

And I still didn’t know why, and also why no one else seemed to care. Still not knowing that not everyone can see that.

So, while I had been studying human behaviour in all its forms all my life and because I think it’s the most fascinating thing, there is, and because I still felt very confused about all that was going on and didn’t feel like I knew all, there was to know, yet, I began to intensify my research even more.

I knew there was something I could do to change things. I already knew so much, but somehow something was still missing.

At that time, audible thought I was a man in my midlife crises, and started offering me books on how to pick up girls. Fortunately, I never needed that 😉

But I’m an incredibly good researcher and, as you know by now, very stubborn, and I have a great ability to focus, no matter what is going on around me. I can sit and read and learn for days, weeks, months, and even years, it turns out, not even half as interested in my personal well-being as in understanding the world (which might have upset quite a few people, who I ignored just as much as I ignored myself to find the answers I was looking for) – but I loved it – and I also have and had my superpowers, and I was about to rediscover and acknowledge them.

The Light

So, I happily (though I was also a bit scared) embarked on a new journey, this time one that didn’t require me to leave my country or the place I lived in at the time (I was still in Berlin when I started), but one that took me deep within, and helped me to learn all there is to learn about life and how to live it well – and I wanted to know more about myself and why I was the way I was.

Happily, because it gave me a new reason to live, and because it fuelled my hope, but also scared as no one wanted to go with me, or even understood what I was doing or believed I could find something or do something about all that was going wrong in the world.

Most people I knew thought you simply have to find a way to get by, find some joy and possibly some love, and that’s it – and that’s fine, but I personally wanted more for them as well, as they simply believed that was the best they can get – as it might already be a lot more than the generations before us had.

But I didn’t want to settle for that – it wasn’t what I was called to do. And the voice that told me to keep looking was just too strong.

And so, often enough, on this journey, I wasn’t sure if I wasn’t going crazy for real because I had to let go of everything and unlearn so many of the things that I had taken for granted until then, and I also realized I had to start believing in things that I never (openly) believed in before.

Angels, for example, or that I could be beautiful and powerful – that really did seem crazy to me at the time – yet without letting go of those old mental barriers that I had set up to fit in and to not be ridiculed, before, I wouldn’t be here, today, not willing to ever go back to what was before. And I couldn’t be more excited about this now.

Don’t ever settle for second best, or OK, or fine, promise me that. As that is the surest way to miss out on actually having the best, and the most amazing and incredible things in life.

But I was still so far from knowing that.

Yet, I allowed myself to go where my interests took me and rediscovered a lot of what I had previously tried to hide about myself, and, that’s when the help slowly started to come in as well. Not from other people, but from the spirit world and the surrounding nature.

Archangel Michael came (to my very big surprise), Jesus visited a few times, somehow at that point that was already much less surprising, and many others.

So, finally coming to and enabling all of my senses, and beginning to trust myself again, I decided that I was going to find out how to live a happy life, one that is also not selfish or based on exploiting others or our planet, yet, that is abundant and full of love and everything good, and to see what it would take to start my life as the first happy, fearless and rich person I (personally) knew, that was also not acting selfishly but for the highest good of all.

Again, it was not that I cared so much about myself, far from it, I just felt like I was all I had, and so I volunteered myself again to find out if it could be done.

My curiosity always being bigger than my sense of self.

And it was a fascinating journey to go through.

There were so many dark nights of the soul, more tears, fears, crying, screaming, kicking the air, being alone, in the light and in the dark. Luckily, I already knew from being homesick and alone in Ukraine, that this is just a phase, and it gets a lot better once you come out on the other side.

This time though, I didn’t have any other people to help me through, just my guides and spirits, god (source energy) and other helpers that were invisible to everyone I knew, and of course, books, audiobooks, podcasts and all kinds of new information I sought out.

It took a while to let all the demons come up and pass through, to then, finally, be surprised by wonderful moments of enlightenment, to experience the orgasm like full-body joy of it, and to finally settle into a feeling of inner peace, trust and arrival and to begin to be able to centre myself in love.

Again, I’m so glad that I did it at all and that I did it the way I did, even though it might not have been the most elegant way, but it was the only way I could have done it, as we all have to start from where we are and work with what we have.

And then, on the way, after learning about unconditional love, and that everything we do and build our worlds on is relative in Ukraine, I found the other missing piece – and that was: me.

Because on this journey, if I wanted to achieve my goals of becoming happy, healthy, and free, to show others how they can be that as well – I began to realize that to help others, I had to first learn to actually help myself.

I slowly but steadily realized that to become someone who can actually guide other people to be their best selves, live as their divine selves, and use all their superpowers, I had to acknowledge the divine in me, and my superpowers and to begin to cherish them and me and only through accepting and loving all of me could I actually become a person others could look up to.

And for that, I had to learn how to prioritize myself and not to adjust myself to make others comfortable and to not be ostracized.

I had to learn how to enjoy my own life, how to create my own world, become the centre of my world, explore my own pleasures and needs, desires and wishes and not just learn about the world and the theory of how to fix things, but begin to create what I wished for so that I could then invite others in to celebrate my fidnings and creations with me.

I realized that I would actually have to begin to treat myself really well – and not as an afterthought, like I was so used to, and change something, my adopted disregard for myself and my feelings, which seemed to be my natural way of existing.

And learning to love and prioritize myself wasn’t easy, in fact, it was really hard.

For a moment it was the hardest thing I ever did, much harder than living under the poverty line, and not being able to speak with people, like I did in Ukraine, much harder than loosing people I loved because they died, or experiencing sexism, discrimination and exclusion – because now I had to come to terms with the fact that I was the one who had created everything I had experienced so far.

Everything I experienced and lived through had seemed so real – and it was.

Yet, when my classmate died, it didn’t affect any of my friends the way it affected me.

When I worked with other people, it didn’t affect them the way it affected me.

I had to come to terms with the fact that we all see and experience what we see and experience because of what we focus on, as a multitude of things exists at the same time – so we can all be in the same situation, yet experience it completely differently, and hence we create what we see an experience.

And yes, it was my experience to first have other people tell me and make me feel like I was wrong, but I kept repeating and thinking that, when I also had the power to change it.

And to make that decision and move is nobody else’s responsibility but mine.

Now you might guess it, the same is true for you.

While this seems like a difficult pill to swallow at first, it is also the key to our empowerment, as the second we take full responsibility for our lives, we can also begin to change them.

It won’t work without it. And I’m saying that because I do only have your best interest in mind. If you’re looking for someone to keep you comfortable, to say yes, even when you’re harming yourself, only because it’s an accepted way and part of the common stories we tell ourselves as a society, I’m not the right guide for you.

I will always only lead you to the best possible outcome, and that can only be reached with honesty and admitting our own mistakes – so we can learn from them.

But at the time, when I started, I did not know that or even see that coming – at all.

And the same might be true for you, right now.

So, when I started, I did it to show that if it was possible for me to be happy, healthy and powerful, it would be possible for anyone.

After all I came from a place, where I was taught I was powerless, and kind of worthless, and that my actions didn’t matter and that I should just work and be happy with what I got, to then meet people who could love me and everyone else for who they were, but didn’t have the knowledge or power or energy to change the world as they had to use it all to protect themselves and survive, to then surrounded myself with people who didn’t think they were powerless, but who thought there was an enemy to fight, and that that enemy was outside of ourselves.

I always knew that neither group was completely right, or completely wrong, as there was obviously something right and wrong about all of them. And as I never felt completely right in or identified with either of these groups, I could always keep my outside perspective and can use that now – for the highest good of all.

Because in either case, the problem is, that it is one group against the other, when we are all just humans, who wrongfully believe in separation.

And that belief in separation is what makes so many of us unhappy and sick and our fights and struggles so hard, as we are literally fighting ourselves.

So, coming back to finding ourselves and with recognizing ourselves, also recognizing our oneness, is what I always knew would be the only way to succeed, even when I didn’t dare to say it or even when I didn’t dare to believe in it myself.

But either way, I started broke, disillusioned, but hopeful – on my journey to living with ease, in joy and abundance and to find a way how this life can be possible for all.

And I had no resources or support to get there – I had to build myself up from the ground and activate it all from inside of me using spiritual or universal laws.

And as we never get what we want, but what we need, and we always receive what we give – me setting out to help others, directed me right back to myself – and helped me to find what I needed the most – and that was to learn how to help myself and how to be happy myself.

Because we can never help another person in a lasting way if we cannot help ourselves – who knew? 😅

So, I changed what I believed to be true about myself and what was also a part of my story and natural way of being, because I also realized that we came here to grow and not to stay the same.

And that even holding on to things, which, we think, are what makes us us, or that are just the way we are, can actually be a form of self-harm.

I learned that when we don’t know how to prioritize ourselves, it is as bad as when we only know how to prioritize ourselves, as either way we won’t be able to live healthy, and balanced and joyful lives.

At some point on this journey, I came across the Wheel of Colours and I don’t think I would have seen everything I saw and know everything I know now if it hadn’t been for that.

The Wheel of Colours makes this very clear that we each have six qualities that come to us naturally and six, which we have to learn and begin to embody in our lifetimes – if we want to live happy, healthy, abundant and enlightened lives.

But it didn’t only tell me this, it also explained all the things about myself I never understood or dared to acknowledge about myself, like my purple centre that is all about healing and mysticism and completion, and apparently means that this can be my last lifetime on earth (which explains why I was unable to settle for second best and always felt like there must be more), or my second colour green, which is our will to live, somewhat instinctual, and which determines who we would like to collaborate with or not, and my gift which is to bring in justice and respect for all.

And it’s so fascinating to see how this works for others as well. So, if you would like to understand more about yourself, get your Wheel of Colours, it’s so enlightening indeed.

By now I realized I had to embrace the changes and become more fully me, by activating unknown qualities in me, allowing my gifts, talents and superpowers to surface again and by beginning to actively use them to be able to help others as well.

And on the way, I also healed my epilepsy, other chronic health issues, my posture, my digestion, my hair and skin issues, my sense of self and grew out of so many wrong assumptions that I can hardly believe where I once was and where I am now.

And everything I learned on the way allows me to say, that every human being right now, alive on our planet CAN live the most amazing life, experience the most magnificent joy and peace and love and abundance within a few years, no matter what their current life circumstances are – they simply have to choose to explore all they can be (and I know how that can be done now) and commit to changing their lives, by taking responsibility for their thoughts words and actions, and to open up to live them fully.

I am well aware that we are not all the same and that your story is most likely very different from mine.

But whatever your journey and purpose, story and way are, right now, you have the choice to continue the struggle, get by, compromise and make due, try different ways that are more comfortable and less radical, or try something else – the choice is always yours, as the knowledge about how to live the life of our dreams is all here, and has always been there.

It might just sound too easy and magical to be true: you have to be completely honest with yourself and all others, to live all your dreams with ease.

So all you have to be is brave enough to find that out for yourself.

My decision

So, as I said, I set out because I wanted to get out of my depression and to find out what I needed to do to be a bit happier and healthier, and how I could use what I found out to help other people as well – so that eventually no one would have to suffer any more, from capitalism and racism, sexism – or discrimination or exploitation of any kind.

And, like I said, I’m stubborn (or committed), so I did find my answers.

But I was still too far from being confident enough to share what I found out with anyone – or for anyone to listen to me or believe me.

I knew what was needed. And I noticed that many other people knew what was needed as well – but what was missing was still the same thing I noticed before, the belief that change could actually happen or that we were powerful enough to make it happen – and that’s where I realized that my stubbornness was now coming in very handy once again because I’m not going to give up – ever AND that it doesn’t even matter how many people recognize this now.

I realized that if I can learn how to be all I can be by myself, and can offer to teach others how to be all they can be as well, then every person who changes their lives to become happier, healthier and more free with me will be a lot more beneficial to this world, and this change will have a bigger effect, than anything I have ever done before – or that could ever be done at all by a single person.

Because if you start to change your life today, the changes you will begin to create in your life will have a positive impact on all those whose lives you touch, with your new patience, your new confidence, your genuine kindness, love and joy or with your happily earned money, and that will have an incredible ripple effect.

And so I activated the explorer in me to find out what it would take me to really make up my life from scratch, to (re)discover who I am, and what I am capable of and for that, I strayed far, far away from the trodden path and the expectations others had for me – and stayed mostly by myself, with my two dogs, in the countryside for more than two years, – to reset myself and to free myself from all the stories and what was considered right or normal.

No news, no radio, no TV, no noise, just birds, rivers, nature and me. And some books.

Again, it wasn’t easy, but it was the best decision I ever made – because even though I had already learned and studied so much, I did not know how wrong I was about so many things, how caught up I was in the common storylines and how much we, as humans, have forgotten about our true abilities.

I rediscovered how powerful I truly am and how powerful we all truly are, how powerful each of us is, even while we have forgotten that we have such incredible powers. How we can feel the weather, tune in to people’s and nature’s frequencies, how much support there is in the spirit world for us and how magical life can be – every single day. Somehow I was born with this understanding, parts of it remained, but most of them weren’t trained – yet, we all have them and can all train them, it’s just that not all of us remember them all their lives, or that they work a bit differently for each one of us.

And as a result of this time-out that I took, and what I learned and experienced on the way, I’m here now to show you, in my full confidence and power, how you, too, can have and be anything you wish for, or don’t yet dare to wish for, and how to live in a way that makes you truly happy and fulfils you – without having to distance yourself as much from your current life, family and surroundings as I did.

If you choose to do that, and begin to (re)discover who you truly are and what your unique superpowers are, I promise you that your life will become so much more fun and change will become easier every day.

And it will be even more fun and less hard when you have someone like me by your side who’s already turned their life around and can fully live in their power now, and can show you how it’s done, step-by-step.

I’d be thrilled to be that someone for you and guide you to become all you can possibly be.

But I want to be completely honest, like all people (whether they are open about it or not), I have an agenda and a reason for why I do what I do – and that’s one of the things that hasn’t changed since I embarked on my journey to fully become myself.

My goal is to reduce the suffering on our planet and to help people to learn how to heal themselves, feel fully empowered and happy and live the lives they truly desire.

Like I said in the beginning, I can see, hear, feel people suffering.

And not just people, animals, plants and our planet.

I can feel it, and, while over time I learned how to consciously tune out of that, to improve my quality of life and my ability to act wisely, I don’t want to ignore it – and just enjoy my life now, just because I can.

We are all one. If one suffers, we all suffer. I just happen to feel into that easily.

So I’m here to serve and help us all to level up together.

I don’t have to watch the news to feel what’s going on in the world, I can just tune in and feel the pain and the cries. And I’d feel so much better if I heard less of that and could feel more of the joy and empowerment, hope and action towards peace, towards trust, towards abundant lives for all – because I know that that is possible – so much has, in fact, already been done for that – and so much more will be achieved if we all continue to work on this together.

And to create a little more of that every day, right now, it just needs you and me.

What I found out

Because of the abilities with which I was born, I can speak with our planet, god/source energy, animals, plants and connect to people’s spirits, which can be a lot of fun and is usually incredibly insightful.

And with that help, luckily, it only took me about 40 years of living and trying different strategies, and of thinking about how to reduce the suffering in this world effectively, to find an answer (and to find out that I’m not the first one who has asked the question and done something about it 😉 ).

The answer I found is as simple as it was difficult to find: The happier each individual person becomes, the more peaceful our world will be.

And if you don’t like the term happy, you can replace it with content, empowered, thriving, feeling grounded and centred, being at peace, knowing who you are in this world and why and what you need to feel good in life, and live as your true, authentic and magnificent self.

To see if this might be true, just imagine this scenario for yourself: If you, or a person you know is genuinely happy, feels loved and supported and knows that they are incredibly powerful and can have everything they wish for and more by simply inviting it in – would you, or they need or want to trick or harm others? (Especially if you also understood the law of karma and that everything you give out always comes back to you?)

If we all understood and saw that what we give out is always returned to us, tenfold, and that all we have to do is give what we want to have more of it – would there be wars?

In our world, right now, people exploit other people, animals, this earth because they don’t believe there’s enough for all, forever, even though there is, as creation is ongoing and help from the non-physical realms is abundant.

And following the law of as within, so without, the reality underneath this is as simple as this:

If we don’t believe that there’s enough, it’s because we don’t believe that we are enough.

So, we know where we have to start to create a change here – and that is by realizing that we are and can be everything we wish to be, and that every change we want to see in this world has to start with ourselves.

We can all come to see that we are abundant, powerful and have limitless possibilities. And when we activate our superpowers, we will see whatever we wish for realized.

But for that, we need to change the stories that we believe in and tell each other, as only with that, we can change our world.

And most of the time we are not even conscious of what we believe or have opposing beliefs.

For example, many of us know and understand that this world is abundant and that there is enough for all, yet we also believe that we have to hurry to get something before it’s sold out, or that we have to compete with others for a job or resources or whatever, when we can also use our thoughts, and our focus to simply manifest whatever we want and wish for – it’s just that instead of doing that, we’ve learned and are used to running, pushing, manipulating, hurrying, stressing, worrying, fearing and then missing out or not.

So, we need to change our default settings here and simply bring what we are doing to our conscious awareness, so we can change it – and begin to live with more ease.

Likewise, our reality is created by what we believe in, and what we believe in depends on the stories we tell each other.

So, for example, when we all tell each other the story of an economic crisis, of prices going up, of not being able to afford what we used to be able to afford, of a growing dichotomy and misunderstandings, then this is precisely what we are creating – collectively.

If we describe what we see, we create more of that and the only alternative to that, and to stop it, is to envision what we want instead and to begin to talk about that and to act towards that.

As if we continue to think, speak and act to what already is, we just create more of it.

And as our emptions are naturally stronger when it comes to thinking or speaking about things we don’t want, it is even easier to create more of the unwanted things – if we don’t stop ourselves. And to change this, we need to practice new ways of being together, and we need to practice this together.

Now, as you could see, I had many chances to break out of the common stories and saw the effect they have on our lives.

When we think that we don’t have the power to change the world – then of course we won’t be able to do it. We first have to believe that we can do something, to be able to actually do it.

The solutions to all the problems are already there, we can clean up the oceans, and could actually live way longer, if we changed our exercise routine, our diet and most of all our thoughts, we just have to learn to believe in ourselves and to trust ourselves again to be able to implement the necessary changes.

(And, hey, I learned all the tips and tricks from neuroscience and ancient wisdom to make this as easy and fun as possible and can’t wait to share them with you).

When we stop telling each other that we can’t do things, then there are, in fact, no limitations any more and nothing that we can’t win – and we can begin to do all we wish to do joyfully, effortlessly and lovingly.

And while we begin to practice this, lovingly by calling each other in not out, whenever we slip up, we can happily find out that this means winning on all levels – for everyone involved.

Because every win for each one of us, is really a win for all.

The only things we will have to give up, on the way, when we dare to change, are the ones that caused the suffering in the first place: greed, bitterness, fear, hate and all the different shapes emotions can take, that are not based on love – and the more each of us gives up of that, the happier we all become, as well – as whatever you give out will always be returned to you. So the more you lie to yourself and others, the more others will lie to you, the more you think of yourself only, the more the people in your life will think about themselves only and so on – but you have the power to break that cycle.

Now, I understand that it might seem easier to blame others or the circumstances for some of the things that are going on in our lives, but I will tell you something to make that fear disappear. Every time you blame someone else, you actively disempower yourself – and you will relive this situation until you start to change something about yourself.

And now that you know that, you won’t be able to unsee it.

A simple example: The other day I wanted to buy some rolls, but hadn’t said which ones yet, just the number like I usually do so they can grab an appropriately sized bag, but the person working was quick and handed me my bag of plain rolls and told me how much to pay, and I was too perplexed to say anything and just paid.

Now, in the past, I would have spent a lot of time beating myself up about this, and blaming the person, for not giving me enough time, our world for being so fast-paced and so on – but when you look at this, none of these things will change anything or make the situation better AT ALL.

Whereas when I simply say: next time I’ll be better prepared, so I can get what I want – without blaming anyone, everything is and will be better. And this really works.

It’s just a change of perspective from feeling disempowered to feeling empowered, from blaming others to saying it’s up to me.

This might be more difficult when it comes to accidents, to death, to rape, to severe health issues and other really painful things – but once the deed is done, once it has already happened, there’s no use in wondering why it happened or whom to blame – the only thing that matters is what we can do to create a different outcome and a different reality from now on so that it won’t have to happen again and again and so that we can heal.

And for there we can’t be a victim, we can only change things when we accept our responsibility and focus on what we want to create from now on – and I’d love to show you how to do that.

In the same way, people might be afraid of giving up comfort – or safety – but whatever we are afraid of losing, we are going to lose anyway, if we don’t change the way we think about the world – because whatever we are afraid of we attract.

But we always have a choice.

We can choose to protect ourselves by avoiding situations or places, by not daring things and being afraid, or we can choose to overcome our fears and start to trust our senses again so they can gently guide us around all trouble.

And we can choose to arm ourselves for a harsh future and hoard food to survive a little longer than others – or we can choose to work together and create everything we wish for.

Everything we need to create everything we wish for – we already have.

It only takes you and me to start, and the second you start – because I’m already here – your life will get immensely better and I will be so happy to cheer you on.

It’s just a matter of daring to go against the grain and doing what’s right for you and what’s also for the highest good of all.

As when you level up and allow yourself to do and be more instead of less, more relaxed, more peaceful, more at ease and yet, also more successful, you will inspire more to do and be the same – until we are all happy, and peaceful and free.

And even if we don’t all get there in this lifetime, then we still will have done a lot more than if we hadn’t even started, and we, you and me, will still have enjoyed our lives a lot more, than if we had given up before even starting as well.

The hard work is done, I did it all for you. I figured out a curriculum to teach you all you ever wanted to know and need to live with clarity and confidence and connection in all areas of your life from now on, and I can teach you all of that within one short year – all you have to do is to allow yourself to start and then to follow along with the exercises and practices.

What I offer

Now, I don’t offer quick fixes because they never work and if you dare to be honest with yourself, you will see that too.

Is a weekend course or a one-week course really going to change your life?

It might change an aspect of your life or open up a new perspective. It might make you feel good for a moment and give you some insights – but real and lasting change and building your confidence and trust from the ground up takes time and practice – and that’s what you can get here, and why the CREATRIX School is designed to bring you new insights and allows you to practice them for a whole year.

Working your way out of all the conditioning isn’t always easy – but it always makes your life easier for the rest of your life.

So, I invite you to do the deep, real, continuous and transformative work that lasts and can bring light to all your shadows.

Because to be free, there’s no way around facing your inner demons and forgiving yourself and everyone else around you – for everything. And forgiveness does not mean forgetting – it just means moving on without the anger that harms and limits our lives.

And in the process of getting there, every step counts because every time we open up to more love and more possibilities, we win, and we’re better off than we ever were before.

So, while taking the initial step to be honest with ourselves and kind to ourselves and to take full responsibilty for our lives might seem weird and wrong and scary, every time we do it we come out happier, freer and with new options, and that feels pretty great.

And soon enough, it leaves us longing for more, as we come to see the beauty in doing the hard things and begin to realize how sometimes even feeling bad is great – as we now know from experience how wonderful it will make us feel after.

With this, we build resilience and learn to trust ourselves and the process.

And while this work can occasionally be hard, and you may occaisionally question your sanity as well, every time we cross a valley of fear, anger, or pain, we find the most incredible flowers on the other side, that we wouldn’t have even dared to imagine before we started to (re-)discover ourselves.

You have no idea how often I thought life cannot possibly get any better than this – yet it always does.

Looking back at my 43 years of life, as I write this, I’m incredibly amazed to see all the things I’ve done, while struggling to see the point of my life, battling depression and drinking far too much.

Ever since I stopped self-destructing, in the last four years or so, I’ve healed my epilepsy, other chronic diseases, my anger, my disappointment and built a whole new life, one where I can freely and glamorously and weirdly be me, and help others to be themselves as well.

In these years and while finding myself, I founded the CREATRIX School, the Generous Life Movement, the Sustainable Business Directory, created two Oracle Card Decks, I’m finishing my first book, I renovated part of an old farm house, I moved twice, fell in and out of love, learned so much, and I honestly can’t wait for what’s to come – and how I will rise to the occasion.

Because we will all have to.

As we look around us, we can see that we still have quite a long way to go to all be at peace, but the sooner we each start with ourselves to create peace within, the sooner we will see what we have within reflected on the outside and the sooner we will all get there.

What I teach and share, in the CREATRIX School and through the Wheel of Colours, will not only transform your life, it will enable you to inspire transformation in many other people as well.

Because the new you will shine so bright that other people are going to want to know what you did to become so confident, radiant, successful and wonderfully and possibly weirdly, yet also so loveably, YOU.

When I started and moved to Ukraine as a 19-year-old, I really had no idea where I was going, or what I set out to do. When I moved to the countryside to meet myself, I had a better idea, yet also no idea what I was about to experience.

I just always knew that I wasn’t going to continue to live in the reality that I saw, and to accept things as they were, because deep down I always knew that we were born to create the changes we seek, even when we collectively believe we can’t actually do it, and that we are all born with one or more callings – and that only if we live those calling will we be happy and free.

So the questions you can ask yourself now, are:

Are you ready to change the world, starting with yourself?

What will you do when you encounter the next obstacle, or see something you don’t agree with? Will you complain, resign, blame yourself or others or do something about it by envisioning the desired outcome?

Will you start following what’s calling you to make things right and to change the things that limit you in your free and joyful expression for the highest good of all, or will you accept them and keep yourself and others limited and down?

Are you willing to continuously have to deal with the bad karma you create by cheating, not being honest, or tricking others and yourself? Or would you like to try something else?

We always have a choice – and every time we resolve something negative we’ve learned about ourselves or the world, we create freedom for ourselves and all, and when we don’t, we have to keep on suffering the consequences.

I haven’t resolved all the suffering of the world yet because if you are still struggling, worrying, unsure about yourself, your abilities or your future, we’re not all living happy lives yet.

And I also cannot resolve your struggles – only you can – I can only offer to show you how to do that.

If you want to find inner peace, create a life, bigger than your current dreams, and would like to open up to activating your superpowers, and using them for the highest good of all (which always holds your greatest benefits as well), or just want to feel a little bit better and happier and healthier, like I did when I started, then we can resolve everything that’s limiting you now – together.

And for that, I have two offers:

One is the Wheel of Colours, which comes as a 46-page PDF and is something I make individually for each person. It basically translates your subconscious into something that you can use in practical ways and that can help you to understand what your unique gifts, talents, and life lessons are and what you personally need to be creative, to collaborate, to feel safe, to trust, to learn with ease, to hear your inner voice, to use your senses best and so on – it’s a manual to guide you to live your best and an enlightened life – if you wish to use it as such.

My other offer is the CREATRIX School, which is a year-long course that teaches you all I’ve learned on my journey here and honestly, everything we should have learned in school and known all our lives to be free and feel empowered, recognize and share our unique beauty and what allows us to do whatever we wish to do and create the reality we wish to live in and that can help us to bring clarity, confidence and connection into every area of our lives.

It’s fun, it’s challenging and it’s rewarding 🙂

And then there’s also the Sustainable Business Directory and some more things coming soon.

Now you know a bit, or a lot, more about me, where I come from and why I do what I do – and how.

And I will finish this by saying that now that you do, I can’t wait to meet you as well, and to see you shine and live in your full power – a bit more every day from now on.

Talks

2019 // Transnational Queer Underground and queer life + work in Berlin. Bedtalks Berlin, Deutschland

2019 // A queer Perspective on Art, Culture & Activism, TALFF, Tallinn, Estonia

2019 // A queer Perspective on Art, Culture & Activism, KRETS Malmö, Sweden.

Publications (selection)

2019 // Wheel Of Fortune – illustration, published in Fool’s Journey – Poems by Jane Flett

2018 // Horses, in Leopardskin & Limes (online literary publication)

2018 // Dogs are Amazing! in S_he’s Amazing! – a queer zine, published in Berlin, Germany

2011 // Post Privacy – Denkanstöße vom Gender Camp
In: Sona, Zoé u.a. (Hg.): Make Out Magazine # 1: Nerd-Issue

2011 // Queere Subkultur – Geboren aus der Randständigkeit, bedingt durch den radikalen Moment
In: Engelmann, Jonas u.a. (Hg.): testcard #20: Access Denied – Ortsverschiebungen in der realen und virtuellen Gegenwart, Ventil Verlag

2010 // Queer Theory – Queer Music. Making an Appearance.
In: Nagelschmidt, Ilse u.a. (Hg.): Interdisziplinäres Kollquium zur Geschlechterforschung, Peter Lang Verlag

2009 // Unter Anderen – Roma und Homosexualität in Mazedonien
In: Streck, Bernhard (Hg.): Shutka Shukar. Zu Gast bei Roma, Askali und Ägyptern, Leipziger Universitätsverlag, 2009

Exhibitions (my own work)

2019 // Suwon Festival: MirrorLand, (group exhibition), 1.-10.11.2019, Suwon, Korea

2019 // Batumi Photo Days: MirrorLand, (group exhibition), 30.08.-15.09.2019, Batumi, Georgia

2019 // Drawing/Connection (single exhibition), 14.06.-31.07.2019 Frauen*Nachtcafé, Berlin, Germany

2018 // A Window To The World (group exhibition), Altes Spital Viechtach und Bahnhof Kötzting, Germany

Exhibitions (curated)

2019 // Berlin, Germany – Photo Exhibition: Climate Crisis/Climate Change

2019 // Malmö, Sweden – Photo Exhibition: Climate Crisis/ Climate Change

2018 // Berlin, Germany – #TheGalleryProject

2017 // Prague, Czech Republic – #TheGalleryProject

2017 // Podgorica, Montenegro – #TheGalleryProject

2017 // Sofia, Bulgaria – #TheGalleryProject

2017 // Tallinn, Estonia – #TheGalleryProject