Why You Are Perfect Just the Way You Are

by | Sep 8, 2022 | Self-Love, Going Deep

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.

You Are Perfect ❤️

What is the first thing that comes to your mind, when you hear that you are perfect?
That you’re not perfect?

That you couldn’t be perfect because you made this mistake or didn’t do something like you were supposed to?

That you couldn’t be perfect because there was a time when you disappointed or hurt someone?

What if I told you that none of that mattered and that you are perfect, no matter what you do?

What if I shared with you that we are each perfect, exactly the way we are, simply because we exist?

You might have heard people say God doesn’t make mistakes, which I think means the same thing, but I like to look at things independent of a certain belief-system.

It doesn’t matter if we believe in a God that created us, a Universe that has our back, a life-force that pushes us to expand or think that we are here by pure chance – we came into existence, we are here now and each of us is unique and has unique experiences, that no one else has.

Many of us grew up believing that we were determined by our genes or genetical dispositions, but in reality, our experiences can even change our genes.

This is why it is so important that we consciously choose how we live our lives.

And this also includes choosing what we believe to be true.

In this article, I will show you, why I think that believing that we are perfect is much better for us, than believing that we are not.

I know from experience that these conscious changes, which we can easily make, if we agree with them, can have a huge impact on our lives. But to make these thoughts and changes stick, we need practice and to surround ourselves with like-minded people. This is why I’ve created A MAGICAL YEAR. Come and join!

There was a time when I didn’t just find it hard to believe that I could be perfect, but I found it impossible to believe.

If you feel similar, then this explanation might help.

As I see it now, we have two options. One is to believe that we are perfect and the other one, which, I think, is the predisposition for many of us, is that we are not and that really, we couldn’t be perfect because there are far too many ways to mess things up.

Let’s take a look at them both:

Theory 1: You are not perfect and never will be 🥹

What many people think of, when they want to contradict the idea that each of us is perfect, is perfectionism.

Perfectionism has been proven to be counterproductive in achieving anything because it sets standards that are too high.

It imprisons us in a state of doubt, and sets us up for failure because we are trying to reach unachievable goals.

So, if we think that we are not perfect, but strive for perfection for ourselves, something that is realistically unachievable, then we boycott and limit ourselves, just like we would boycott and limit any project if we tried to make it ‘perfect’.

Also, what would the perfect me or you be like or look like, and who gets to decide or define that?

This would be a good moment to get out your journal and try to answer the question: What would make you perfect? Or one of my favourite questions when it comes to self-love: Who would you have to be for you to fully love, or accept yourself? If you find it difficult to answer these questions by yourself, then come and join A MAGICAL YEAR – so we can practice together!

Also, if I’m not yet perfectly me, then who am I?

If the perfect state of being me is impossible to obtain, then wouldn’t that mean that being me is impossible?

Yet, I am possible every day. I prove to be possible every single day, no matter how messy or fulfilled my life is. I’m still me and you are still you. Each in our own messy, joyful, growing & perfect ways.

And no matter what we will do and how much we change or improve, or relapse or fail, it will always remain true.

I will still be perfectly me and you will still be perfectly you because we are always the only way we can be.

Let’s take a look at a less personal example.

When I think of perfect, the first image that comes to my mind is a perfect porcelain vase: with intricate patterns and so much detail that it might overwhelm us, yet no irregularity or mistakes can be found.

But is that vase really perfect?

It might be designed to perfection, it might be produced to perfection, but it might also not look good on my table or be much too big for the one flower I would like to put in a vase.

So, in that case, the vase might be perfect to some, and not to others, or it might be perfect for some occasions and not for others.

This also illustrates the idea, that everything is essentially meaningless, until we give it a meaning. And we get to chose which meaning we want to give to something.

There is no objective criteria of what makes a vase perfect, UNLESS someone defines what a perfect vase is or creates a style or norm according to which something meeting certain criteria is a perfect exemplar of that style or norm.

However, this is still completely arbitrary to one person’s or a group of people’s opinions or decisions.

It is still open to debate what is perfect and what isn’t and there will always be someone who thinks something is not perfect and will find a plausible reason for it.

Looking at it this way, perfect is defined by the human eye and not even in a democratic way, as in: when most people think it’s perfect, then it is.

In reality, it’s more like even if 99% of all people think the vase is perfect and 1% thinks it isn’t, it will most likely remain imperfect in our minds.

This is also how we treat ourselves most of the time, when we believe we aren’t perfect.

If there’s anyone who might have anything negative to say about us, or if we ourselves are that person who thinks negatively about ourselves, then that must be more true than the 99% who don’t think so, or simply have no opinion on that at all.

Often it takes just a look or a word from someone else for us to question ourselves and to feel imperfect, yet that does not make that an adequate picture of reality.

And to make matters worse, even if we were all to agree that the vase is perfect, or that we were perfect at one moment in time by some definition, then it might still not always remain so.

At any moment, the vase might break and dissolve into so many pieces that it’s not even a vase any more or we might change, make a mistake, grow, change, do something different or die and we too would lose our state of being perfect.

The vase once was earth, got alchemized into clay and transformed into a vase, and will go back to being clay and becoming part of the earth.

Our bodies, like the vase, are made up of single particles and pieces, and held together by what others have scientific explanations for, but to me seems like pure magic.

Just like the vase, these tiny particles came together to eventually form a tiny human that, with time and shaped by our circumstances, grew to become who we are now.

Nourished by what came from the earth, we will eventually become earth again, to nourish others, just like the vase – each after we have fulfilled our calling.

Isn’t that process in itself kind of magical and perfect?

You are perfect - and we are part of a perfect process.

Theory 2: You are perfect and can’t be any other way 😌

So let’s look at this from a different angle. From here, the vase will always be perfect for what it is.

It’s not less perfect when it doesn’t fit the circumstances, it will remain perfect while it is in imperfect circumstances in that moment.

Or it might not be perfect for one person, but it will be for another, it just needs to be found by that other person.

I’m sure by now you see where this is headed: The same is true for us. And all other living beings and non-living things.

Looking at the world from the point of view where each of us is imperfect or broken because we can’t be perfect for all people and in all circumstances at all times, there can never be a perfect person or a perfect object.

With this mindset, we remain caught in a state of unhappiness because we keep striving for something we will never reach.

With this mindset, we will always be thinking that we are ‘less than’ whenever we find ourselves reminded that we are not perfect – which is always.

I don’t know about you, but to me, that way of viewing the world sounds like a set-up for disappointment, unhappiness and frustration.

Yet, without really making it so clear to myself, this is what I’ve been thinking for most of my life. And I believe you might have been thinking the same.

I thought I wasn’t perfect because I didn’t know everything and couldn’t do everything at all times, and because people might have things to criticize about me.

Does this resonate?

So much of what we think, and as a result, what we do is based on these kinds of hidden assumptions, that we’ve stored in our subconscious and that can limit us in our lives. The good thing is, that we can change the way we think so that we feel better and start creating lives that allow for more freedom, love and joy. But to make these thoughts and changes stick, we need practice and to surround ourselves with like-minded people. This is why I’ve created A MAGICAL YEAR. Come and join!

You are perfect - and we are part of a perfect process.

You are perfect, your circumstances or actions might not always be

Imagine you were trying to make the vase. Your teacher has explained to you how to make it and you watched her do it many times before.

You sit down and start making your vase, and even though you give it your all, the vase does not turn out the same way your teacher’s vase did.

Now, is your vase perfect or not?

It might not look like the vase your teacher has made, but isn’t it still perfect because it was the best vase you could possibly make with the knowledge and skills you had?

Isn’t it perfect because it can show you exactly where you need to strengthen your skills and practice more in order to be able to achieve what you want?

And here is why, I think, to answer the question, whether we are perfect as we are or not is so important – it leads us back to the question of what we intend to do with our lives.

And everything depends on that intention because it is the most reliable guide for our lives.

If your goal is to become as good as your teacher at making the same kind of vases they make, then your first attempt of creating that vase will not be perfect, but it will lead you to perfection, if you continue to watch closely, practice and see what needs to improve.

Now, even if you want to make exactly the same vases as your teacher, you might not be able to do so because your hands are not shaped the same way, your breathing or techniques differs slightly, or whatever else might be relevant in the situation.

However, with practice, you will be able to make the perfect vase according to your own unique abilities and techniques.

And I would argue that each and every vase you make on your way to get there is perfect as well because it is a perfect expression of your soul, your state, your skills at that moment.

Now what about us?

Who gets to define what makes us perfect?

Your super critical mother? Your super critical self? The person you look up to? Your partner?

If there were a universal perfection that any of us could reach, it would have to be the perfect human being. But what is a perfect human being? Is there a perfect human being?

Given the fact that everything is always in motion and as humans, we are constantly evolving, to define a state of perfect humanness would mean that there would have to be a place of stillness somewhere, an equilibrium of humanness, which one could reach to fulfil the ideal, yet, I have a feeling that could only mean the end of humanness.

Once that is reached, there needs to be no more.

And the same is true for us. If we strove for perfection and reached it, then what? Would that be the moment we could finally start to enjoy our lives and be present to what is going on around us?

So, why not cut out the suffering, the reaching, the grasping to arrive right at this moment?

We are perfect because all our experiences and those of all who were here before us accumulate in us in any given moment, making us perfect in that given moment.

Each of us, every living being, everything that exists is perfect, simply because it is, simply because it exists and because it is part of an ecosystem, in which it is needed exactly the way it is.

And so are you, so am I, and so is anything we might every be working on.

Now we can take a close look at us and say: “Sometimes I act in ways I don’t want to act. There are things I don’t know, that if I did know them would improve my life. Or my projects would become more impactful, beautiful or joyful if I changed this or that.”

But to know what you might need to change or improve, you first have to be in the state you are in now because it’s only from here that you can see that.

An imperfect project can show you where you need to improve, but once you have improved in that area, it will shift things around in a way that you will find new places to look to be explored, conquered and improved.

It will keep you growing and that’s great.

In doing so, it fulfils its job and therefore is perfect in doing what it’s meant to do.

You are perfect - and we are part of a perfect process.

Now we can decide to get stressed out about the fact that we will never reach a moment when everything is done – or we give up that notion and enjoy every step we take.

So, are you perfect?

Think about it:

What is the meaning of life for a tree? What makes a tree perfect? To do exactly what a tree does because it fills a unique space in an incredibly intricate ecosystem.

What is the meaning of life for a bird? What makes a bird perfect? Or a seahorse, a virus, a bug? They all need to be precisely what they are, and adjust to the circumstances wherever necessary in their own ways.

So, what’s the meaning of life for us humans? What makes us perfect?

It’s the same. To occupy our unique place in our ecosystem and to see how we need to adjust to be in the given circumstances.

And what is the meaning for us as an individual among other humans?

Exactly the same: To fill up our unique space and to adapt to the circumstances.

We’re not meant to try to fit into boxes, we are not meant to be stiff and rigid, we are not meant to be some ideal – we are meant to be unique, in motion and to experience and evolve.

The same way a child does not need to be told how to grow, we are curious and want to expand and explore more without needing anything other than what is given to us in any moment.

We’re not born to all do the same, or thrive for the same thing, we are born to play equally important yet different roles.

If you’d like to find more clarity on what your unique role is in life and what steps to take to live it full, join A MAGICAL YEAR. I’m looking forward to seeing you walk your way, with confidence.

You are perfect - and we are part of a perfect process.

I would even go as far as to say, whenever we encounter unhappiness, it is because in some way we do not allow ourselves to be ourselves and stop that natural instinct to grow and evolve.

You don’t have to take my word for it, just observe it in yourself.

If you are looking to find more happiness in your life, you have to look at how you can let go of all outside expectations and really truly become yourself.

You, on your path, right now, being precisely who you are and taking your next step, from where you are standing.

Because you are already perfect.

And we can be perfect and mean, perfect and selfish, perfect and unfair because being mean, or selfish or unfair are actions and actions can change and so can we, once we know better.

Our actions will never make us less perfect because we are always acting the best and only way we know in that moment.

This doesn’t serve as an excuse for bad behaviour, though. As long as you are unconscious of your behaviour you can’t change it, but once you do, you can and then your responsibility begins.

And this is where we come back to intention. We get to decide what we want to dedicate our lives to and let that be the guide in our lives.

If your goal is to become rich no matter what, your actions will look different from those of someone who tries to do no harm, or as little as possible.

No matter where we choose to go in life, we will start out with little knowledge and little experience how to do it right, but we will gain more and greater understanding the more we practice.

Yet, we are perfect, no matter which direction we choose or where we are on our way. And so is everyone else, we meet. We are perfectly right to take the next step.

So, what do you think now? Are you perfect?

Are you perfectly able to make your next move? And the next, and the next?

Or will you continue to think of yourself as imperfect and limit yourself in order to be someone or somewhere else than you are?

Someone or somewhere that doesn’t exist for you, because you have not taken the steps to go there or be that?

Will you continue to limit your experiences, your chances to grow, to try new things, to explore and discover, by blocking what is unfolding naturally?

Or will you recognize that you are already perfect, that you can do things freely, knowing that each step includes learning and growing and use your intention as a guide to help you unfold and evolve?

If you start to see yourself as perfect and on your way to fully becoming yourself, there’s so much more joy, fun, love, growth, achievement and probably a lot less damage on your way.

And if you’d like some individual guidance to walk your path and live your unique and perfect life, book a call with me.

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