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When have you ever felt disempowered?

Dear Creatrix,

We’ve been working so hard this month to take responsibility for our lives – because only when we recognize that we are responsible for what is happening to us, can we change it.

And that is quite a powerful realization!

Now, a lot of what we experience and feel today is because of what we experienced and felt in the past, when we were children, and it didn’t feel like we had options, or could decide how we wanted to react to a situation or how it would affect us.

You’ve probably seen all the research and the stories that show that people don’t react to something per se, but they/we react to the story they/we tell themselves/ourselves about what they/we see or experience.

And so, for some people who survive an attack, for example, it can be a traumatic event, when they focus on how they almost got killed, maybe blame themselves for having been in the situation in the first place and so on, whereas for others, who experienced the same thing, but focused on the surviving and how lucky they are that they did, it might not be.

There’s a story of a girl who was raped by a group of men and who left her body in the process, and saw her life, their lives, experienced her immortal soul and realized that all harm was only done to her body, not her, and came back into her body not feeling any anger towards any of the men, who hurt her – because she realized what life was about in that moment, because of that horrible thing that happened to her, and she realized that even though these men were behaving badly, they were doing so out of pain and because they didn’t know how to be any better – yet.

And I’m not using this example to excuse bad behaviour, rape or violence in any way, but to say that her life could have easily been destroyed or full of suffering from that day on – but she changed her perspective and that allowed her to dedicate the rest of her life to helping other people heal.

Because there is no such thing as a natural reaction to a situation or a right reaction – we always react and are the best way we can be with the knowledge and awareness we have at that moment.

And I think we’ve already explored this quite well in this chapter, how siblings, for example, don’t experience the same things in their families, or don’t remember things the same way, even though they see the same things happening, or would have an opportunity to experience things the same way.

Everything we see, we see through our personal lens, and that might be much more informed by what our highest self has chosen for us to learn in this lifetime, than by what is actually happening.

And as children we choose to see things in the best way we can to keep us safe, so we can actually grow into adulthood in an unhealed world full of threats and dangers, and we try to act in the best way we can, but often we cannot resolve the things or see how we can grow by resolving them as children, if the people around us don’t have the capacity to guide us through that or are able or willing to reflect on their own behaviours.

And then we carry the resulting stories of pain, feeling alone, or misunderstood with us all our lives, kind of like they are frozen in time, and the part of ourselves that was affected by whatever happened, remains frozen with them.

But we can change these stories and give them new endings now, and unfreeze ourselves this way – so we can open up to new ways of reacting to people and situations, and essentially to create new realities for ourselves now, with this as well.

And this ritual, is something that you can use for all incidents that you’ve experienced in the past, that have been limiting you since then, whenever you notice a story of limitation, feeling misunderstood or being treated unfairly, that is a reaction to something you’ve been holding on to from your past, comes up.

All you need is a quiet place, maybe you’d like to light some candles, burn some incense, or put on meditative music – just make sure that you feel safe and cosy and that you won’t be disturbed for some time, so you can really work your way through this.