Full-on autumn weather has arrived here this weekend, with grey rainy days, and I got my winter coat out to leave the house.💫

But Tobby (my dog) and I are making the best of it anyway. 🐶

How are you, today? And how was your week and your weekend?

I continued to think about Autism this past week (read my post from last week to find out how it started) – my own story – but also about the changes all people could benefit from on this planet.

One topic that I came back to, again and again, was expectations and judgement.

Like the expectation to have a ‘normal’ child. Or a child that will like or do things the way the parents did them.

And the judgement that just because people are different, they are somehow worse off.

Because not being neurotypical doesn’t make one less, it just makes one different from neurotypical people.

And being different is not a problem, expectations about how people ‘should’ act, or what they ‘should’ want or need are the problem.

We don’t automatically suffer from being who we are – we suffer because people don’t treat us with appreciation and respect, because others see our way of being, our needs or way to see the world as a problem.

And that is something that we can only solve collectively, by starting to question the status quo – together.

Because, obviously we can also cause suffering for ourselves when we internalize that negative view we experience in our formative years – but we, and all people, can always change – as soon as each of us decides to do so.

Really, the worst suffering that comes from being different in any way, whether that is being gay, or queer, or not neurotypical – and I would guess also from belonging to any other kind of minority, because of skin colour, physical abilities, culture, language and so on – comes from the ignorance of other people, and the resulting discrimination and mistreatment, not from the thing itself.

Because only when we are not accepted for who we are, we start to feel bad, and that often makes parents our first bullies, no matter how good their intentions are.

When we see that people don’t want us to be who we are, especially growing up, or are afraid of our difference, or how we are, and treat us badly when we are ourselves, and good when we mask, we think that we are the problem – when the problem really is the expectation to be different to how we are.

And it’s painful when you experience, over and over again, that people think you are worth less, and can be met with impatience, yelling, and often feel belittled or ignored, because you are who you are.

But this is not just about caregivers, or teachers, when we are young, it often continues later as well.

I remember two instances in my twenties and thirties when I was in the middle of a conversation, and the other person looked at me in disgust, saying: “Are you autistic?” when I had clearly not masked correctly.

At that point, I didn’t know I was, or think I was, and it was made clear that it was nothing desirable.

So I concluded I should try to quickly act as normal as possible again, to not be excluded and looked down upon any further.

But both of these times I thought to myself: “Maybe I am autistic, maybe that explains why everything is so hard, weird and strange for me here.”

So it took a while to come to terms with that.

When I came out as a lesbian, or queer, I was completely at peace with myself about it. And presenting myself in that mindset, people (subconsciously) knew that they would have to accept me or lose me, there was no room for anything else.

When you know who you are and know it is right, you know, that if people don’t like it, they are not your people, which doesn’t mean that it’s not still hurtful, if they say hateful things, or treat you badly because of it, but they can’t make you question yourself, so you have inner safety at least.

And this allowed me to confidently interact with others and to advocate for equality (because we all just want to be treated as people, and not as less-than, and have the same rights as others – like to exist, or to choose who we want to spend our lives with.)

With Autism, it took a bit longer for me to get to that place, simply because I became aware of it much later, through Social Media, and through other women in midlife sharing about their experiences.

That way I got to connect a lot of missing pieces, that just didn’t fully make sense to me before, and that helped me create even more inner peace for myself, and to grow confident about those aspects of myself as well.

Because when I stopped fearing being different, and stopped blaming myself for being different, I also discovered that there’s a reason for me to be the way I am, and that I came here, perfect in my own ways – just like you, and everybody else.

Yet, I grew up in a world where I had to fear being different, and where it felt shameful to be different.

Activate the colours of your life

So our world needs to change – not what is different about us, as honestly there is no one who doesn’t have something that is different about them.

And each of us has the power to help with that and to contribute to that.

Together, we can envision and work towards a world in which every person is free to discover themselves, their needs, calls, wishes, hopes, and to develop their uniqueness.

And support this self-discovery and expression in ourselves and each other – with unconditional love.

It’s why I started to work as a spiritual coach, to help people remember who they are, so they can live happy and self-determined lives, and be proud of who they are, and really start to thrive because of their uniqueness, not despite it.

Which leads us back to expectations.

I remembered an episode from the TV show Parenthood, in which a dad struggled to accept that his son was autistic.

He said that he just wished for his son to be able to have a couple of beers with his buddies later in life, like he did, and enjoyed so much.

But his son will choose different things for himself to enjoy – and that is not better or worse – it’s just different.

To create a welcoming environment for all, however, we need to raise awareness, our consciousness and our capacity to love, unconditionally, and to support other parents in that as well, as many never experienced that either.

We have constantly been levelling up in the West, to the point where we are finally catching up to what indigenous cultures all around the world always knew:

That we borrowed this earth from future generations and have not inherited it.

That we are here as guardians to live in harmony with all life, and that children are our teachers, as they bring in new frequencies and advanced knowledge.

Imagine the pain parents have gone through and how much they must have closed their hearts, to feel ashamed of, or insecure about their children, or to be disappointed when children are not what they expected them to be.

Children highlight the parents shortcomings – not as criticism but as an opportunity to heal what has so far been neglected.

If we watch their actions we can learn what needs to be healed inside of us. If we blame them or punish them for ‘bad’ behaviour – we are just not able to heal our own shadow – yet. And cause suffering for all involved.

The more we move from our mind to our heart here, the better things will become though.

And this points to something bigger as well.
As a society, generally, the majority, expects children to go to school, and then to get a job and earn money – to be self-sufficient.

But why would that be good for anyone?

The amazing Jane Goodall died last week, which brought up many interview snippets and quotes, and in one she said:

“For the whole world to have the same living standard as middle class Americans, not rich Americans, average Americans, we would need 4 or 5 planets.”

So it’s not actually a good thing for current and younger generations to aspire to a middle class life. In fact, that is something that will only lead to disappointment and frustration – on many levels.

Instead, we need more of those wonderful people, like her, who don’t aspire to material wealth and accumulation of power. We need more tree huggers, poets and gardeners.

Or those who communicate with animals, or people on the other side. And those who are born in bodies that need assistance – to remind us of our need for community and not self-sufficiency.

I actually just reached out to Jane Goodall, as I’m writing this, and got a lot of glimmering white light, and tears are running down my face, because of the high frequency and love she’s in.

She says she’s hanging out with all her old friends now, the chimpanzees, I could see them with her.

And I asked for a message, and she said: “Be gentle with yourselves and each other and keep learning, and growing and loving.”

So there we go.

I also saw a message from an indigenous community, after her passing, which said: “We will keep on doing the work you started, and keep walking in your footsteps.”  – what a better legacy to leave, really.

Isn’t that something to live up to?

To live and work in a way that inspires others to follow in your footsteps? People want to make themselves immortal in the weirdest kinds of ways – creating positive change is what actually creates legacies and what will keep your imprint alive forever.

We are so lucky to have had amazing people like Jane Goodall here, who really turned things around for all of humanity.

Another thing I saw pop up since her passing, which goes well with what I said above, is that she couldn’t have done any of the work she did, if her mum hadn’t supported her.

Instead of thinking she was strange for taking earthworms to bed with her and study them, when she was a child, she saw her curiosity, and helped her to follow her interest during the day.

So we are back at the beginning.
Do we meet children and each other with curiosity and wonder, or with expectations and judgement?

Which one will lead us to a better future for all?

We are not all here to live with, connect to and study chimpanzees, but we are all here to do something special.
When we’re not allowed to follow our unique interests, when our special needs and perspectives are seen as a problem and not as an opportunity, when our difference is seen as causing trouble instead of an opportunity to see the world through different eyes – then our highlight in life might be to drink a few beers with our buddies (no shame, we need those who like following instructions, and just enjoy the simple pleasures in life as well).

But we are all different and that is fantastic.

We can each aspire to different things – and we can each choose our legacy now and live it, create it, radiate it.

Studies have shown that after a certain amount of money, which allows us a life without fear, and to enjoy ourselves, people don’t get happier if they get more money.

Until then, yes, they do. However, to reach this minimum standard of freedom seems out of reach for more and more people each day.

The crisis is already everywhere, the living costs are getting higher and higher and the wages are not. A few people are getting richer and richer each second, most are not.

And this is because we learned obedience and not inventiveness, assimilation instead of standing out, and we did not learn how to use and work with the laws of the universe that lead us back to our god_dess-power – and can enable us to create anything we wish for in life.

But we can come back to that now, if we choose to do so.

So we really need to rethink how we want to live together, individually and collectively.

And people who are born so different that they don’t fit into the current system, were born with an imprint of the solution, because it is needed for our human evolution.

The problems our world faces today, destruction, greed, war, are not individual problems – because we are all different expressions of the same core.

You may not feel the people crying on the other side of the world, but I do. Many of us do. So be gentle. (Thanks Jane!)

The autistic non-speakers are here to connect us with the higher realms, with new forms of communication, higher frequencies of love and light, and can connect us to the solutions we need to ascent and live together in peace.

Something we could all choose to cherish. We can all support them and their families, as beacons of lights, that are here to raise the frequencies on our planet, and make all our lives better.

We can stretch our minds to see beyond what we were taught to see: people with higher support needs, and see way showers instead.

We can start to realize that they connect us to, and help us heal a collective shadow – our belief, that we need to be individually self-sufficient, to live a good and meaningful life, instead of remembering that separation is an illusion, and we’re nothing without each other.

And that if we hurt another, we always hurt ourselves. Or if we only care for ourselves, we are the ones who suffer the most from that feeling of loneliness and separation.

Autistic speakers, star seeds, light workers, psychics, channellers, and other tuned-in, and sensitive beings are here to do our part as well in our own chosen and preferred ways.

People who don’t fit in are not a problem – they are living examples of the solutions to problems in our societies. The majority of people could learn so much, by just opening their eyes to that.

And, not only may we need five planets, to sustain the living standards of some, and extend it to all – that way of living has not even made people happy so far, just sick, physically and mentally.

Exploiting our planet and each other is not a sustainable way of living – even if our universe and planet are abundant and all can be cleaned, and more resources generated.

Greed is not happiness, it’s just a way to fill internal voids, that is not even working. Oppression is not happiness, it’s fear.

And what are we afraid of, really?

People can learn to self-heal – then we won’t need health insurance or costly institutions. All can be healed with love, sound and frequency, and plants. Easily.

Nature heals. We just need to allow this for ourselves again.

As people born on this planet, we are all equal in the face of god or source energy. The land is ours, the resources are ours.

The claim of land, the division of resources, this is all human-made – and so humans can also undo it. It’s not the natural order of things, far from it.

Any person who claims to have more right than another is wrong, especially if they claim rights over another.

States say they protect us. But do they? From what? Or are they just selling us that idea, through fear, to keep power structures in place?

We need to replace fear with love, and then we can come back to ourselves. And heal.

So all the things people are afraid of now, will disappear.

We, as humans, can be reborn, or continue our life in other realms, and resources can be regrown and re-manifested.

There is nothing to be afraid of, not death, not anything else.

And we, with our thoughts, words and actions, can choose if we want to contribute to fear or love every day.

We can choose to keep this earth, which holds and creates so much beauty, as a planet where people and animals and nature and we ourselves have to suffer, or we can also create a planet in which we can all thrive freely, peacefully.

We, each one of us, can have all the joy, love, happiness and abundance that we want. We just have to choose it. (And if you don’t know how, I can teach you)

Worry is like spreading poison through your body and feeding it to those you share your words with.

Hope, and aligned action, believe, trust and love can heal it all. We really just have to choose it, again and again. Gently.

So let’s embrace and celebrate our differences, let’s support each other in our unique contributions and stop the judgement or an expectation that the common or familiar way is the right way, because it really is not. For no one.

Not even for those who think they benefit from it.

Your joy can be football, and mine insects. Your happiness can be no children, or lots of children, and mine adoption. Your happiness can be fast cars, and mine gardening.

This way there is room and inspiration for us all, and all that is to come.

If all of us would just garden, the world would probably very much to my liking ;), but if all of us were interested in fast cars, even those who like it now, might not be able to enjoy it any more, because there’s just not enough space, though I guess we could manifest that too.

If we all followed our interests and used our superpowers, this place would be even more exciting, beautiful, diverse and wonderful.

It’s not about giving up things that matter, it’s about giving up those that don’t – the false promises, or distractions – and to focus on what does matter – the joy, the love, the creation, healing and inspiration.

So let’s be gentle, with ourselves and each other (thanks again Jane!) and grow and learn, and live and expand in our unique ways – together.

When we expect for all to want, need, or find joy and fulfilment in the same things we like – then no one will be happy.

When we support each other and future generations, from now on, every day a bit more, to explore, grow and share our and their gifts, each of us has the potential to create lasting positive change for our whole world.

We are each in charge of our own legacy.
And I know mine.

What will yours be?

Much love to you and a beautiful start to the week 💖