How to Manifest Your Ideal Relationship – for real

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Not that long ago, I talked to a client about what her ideal relationship would look like and what her expectations were when it came to relationships.

It turned out, that she had never thought about it and in her experience, relationships were always about struggle and fights in exchange for not having to be alone.

On that day, I thought back to how I was raised to see relationships and how I see them now, and I’ll share a bit of the transformation that I went through with you in this article because chances are that you might want to change your perspective as well, if it is your intention to manifest your ideal relationship.

And I’m curious: What would your ideal relationship look like? What are your relationship goals? What have your best relationships looked and felt like?

Have you thought about it? If not, why not? If yes, do you have your ideal relationship already? And if not, why not? What’s missing?

We can only get what we want if we have a clear idea about what it is that we do want and what we don’t want.

What is not an ideal relationship

Often it’s easier to start with what we don’t want, than to know what we do want.

And this, for most people, like my client, starts with not wanting to be alone.

So much so, that we often think we need to tolerate a lot of what we’re not happy with, in a relationship, as a fair price to pay for just not being alone.

This, to a certain degree, has been what I believed in my past as well. I wouldn’t ever let anyone treat me badly, but I made far too many compromises.

I grew up being told that compromises are the basis for any lasting relationship.

That belief, mixed in with low self-esteem, made me feel lucky that people wanted to be with me in the first place and I thought that not getting everything I wanted in a relationship was just how things were.

“We can’t always get what we want.” Or: “Who are you to think you can have a perfect relationship?”

The message I received, wherever I looked, was not to dare to think I could get exactly what I wanted.

But we can get exactly what we want.

Especially when it comes to relationships. Why would we go for less, if we can have what we truly desire?

What’s the use of a relationship if it does not add to our absolute, complete happiness?

And that does not mean that it can’t be difficult at times.

How can a relationship enrich our lives?

One of the first things, that is key to finding, living, creating our ideal relationships, is to see the relationship we are looking for not as a necessity.

Like with everything we want to manifest, this is the key element we need to bring in to find ease and get out of desperation.

We focus on the joy, the desire and not on trying to fix an unpleasant state or ourselves with something external, like a relationship.

Our ideal relationship, like everything else, starts with doing the inner work and cultivating self-love.

healthy sleep routine

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We first have to understand that we are whole and perfect as we are.

It’s quite tricky, though, isn’t it?

In a world where we all think that there’s something wrong with us, it takes time to get to a place of full acceptance.

But only when we fully accept ourselves, we can also come together, to play, love, grow, evolve and explore freely and joyfully with our ideal partner – and not use them to fix a hole that we feel we can’t fix ourselves.

But most likely, if you are reading this, you’ve not had a chance to experience that feeling of being whole and complete in yourself yet and, as a result, know exactly what you are looking for and how to invite that into your life with joy and ease.

So, if you would like to start doing the inner work to come into a feeling of wholeness and being fulfilled on your own so that you can then manifest your ideal relationship, you’re invited to join the CREATRIX School, where I will show you how you too can begin to cultivate so much love for yourself, that you can confidently date, be in relationships and negotiate interpersonal connection.

Because the thing is – we will always attract the people into our lives that we need to grow into becoming our best selves.

If we have unresolved issues, they will show up in everything that we do, and that includes our relationships, whether they are based on intimate love or friendship.

With insecurity about who we are and what we want, if lack a strong moral compass, and our potential partners do too, we’re bound to run into trouble, misunderstanding and confusion, most likely ending in heartbreak.

The CREATRIX School is set up, so you can find clarity, confidence and lots of love and joy in every area of your life, and will begin to find your way out of frustration and confusion, master challenges with more ease and most importantly, begin to trust yourself and your choices.

You see, if we grew up and live in an environment where we have never seen a healthy and happy relationship, it’s difficult to imagine one and without the imagination, or a clear image of what we want, it is challenging to create one.

Which is why I’d be happy to show you how to plan out your ideal relationship so that it can actually manifest in the CREATRIX School.

But I’d like to give you a head start now, so you can begin manifesting your ideal relationship and see if my method works for you.

Around the same time, that I had the conversation with my client, I listened to Melissa McCarthy on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast, and the hosts asked her what relationship advice she would give to her children.

She said something like: “A partner should cheer you on when you are winning and be there for you, when you are not.”

And I do think, in a way, these are the two most important qualities when it comes to living and experiencing a great relationship.

In practice, this means that both (or all) partners thrive, to be able to support their partner(s) fully, without jealousy or comparison and to be so well resourced most of the time, that we can be there for the other(s), with patience and grace when it’s needed.

healthy sleep routine

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Now, if you’d like to try this, think back to your current and past relationships. Has this always been true for you?

I wish I could say, that I have always had that in past relationships, but I really didn’t.

More often than not, I found myself in relationships where we were jealous of each other’s wins instead of being able to celebrate them with each other (based on insecurity and thinking if one gets too far ahead they might leave) or turning away when there was too much suffering or struggles because we couldn’t handle it.

My ex-partners, and I at the time, were people who would agree that that wasn’t the way it should be, or how we wanted it to be, yet, we also didn’t know how to be different because we had never experienced anything else and didn’t have safe grounds of trust and confidence to stand on.

We were caught in a loop, in which we repeated the same frustrating patterns others before us modelled because they were the only things we knew.

How was this for you? And what can we do?

The first step to changing something is always noticing that something is going on, that we are not willing to put up with any more – or that we are finally ready to try new ways because we see that the old ways always create an outcome that we’re not happy with.

The second and most important thing is to recognize, that if we want to change something, we have to change ourselves, not our partners. Hard as it may be, every situation we are in – we’ve created ourselves. Blaming our partner won’t get us anywhere.

It’s only when we take full responsibility for our situation that we can begin to change it for the better.

If we find ourselves noticing that we want while we are in a relationship, which we don’t want to end, then we can definitely do the work together with our partner, if they want that as well.

But we can also do it without them because if we change, our relationships will also change automatically.

healthy sleep routine

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Which leads us back to the beginning. If we would like for our partner to cheer us on when we are winning, we can check and see if we are cheering them on, when they are winning.

If we’d like for our partner to be there for us when we are down, then we can check if we are actually there for them when they are down.

And then we can take it from there.

How do we know if our partner is down?

Do they have an easy time sharing about their experiences or letting us in?

Can we ask them if they need support with anything right now?

If these questions cause any resistance, then that is a good sign that you’re under resourced and should take another step back and ask yourself what you need, and be there for yourself first.

And this is also true when you are not in a relationship right now, but would like to be in one.

See that you can get a clear image of what it is that you wish for in a relationship or in a partner, and then see how you can be everything that you wish for yourself so that you can begin to attract more of what you are into your life from other people as well.

How can I become an ideal partner to attract my ideal relationship?

While we are not all the same and don’t all wish for the same things, there are certain qualities and ways of being, which I think most people want: Like a partner who has the capacity to listen to us, who can voice their needs and communicate openly, who is attentive, who trusts us, who we can trust and who adds joy to our lives and so on.

Can you be that partner?

A loving and caring companion, lover, or partner is such a wonderful thing to have and to be.

In the past, we’ve been told that relationships have to be hard work, that we can’t have what we want, often also that relationships can limit us in our unfolding, or that we need them to be OK or an accepted part of society.

But today, we do have other options.

And we will explore these other options in the month of November (no better time than Scorpio season for this!).

Because it is possible to be free in a relationship, to grow together and to love unconditionally.

It is possible to simply add more joy to each other’s lives, and to busk in that joy together.

Are you ready to manifest and live your ideal relationship? Then join the CREATRIX School, and let’s make this happen, together!

Get Your Personal Wheel of Colours

The Wheel of Colours is a traditional tool to help us understand what we need or can share in certain situations.

We are all made up out of the same colours, but they are arranged uniquely in each person – which is why we need or can give different things in different moments.

If you’d like to find out what can support YOU when starting a project, or working with other people, to successfully finish something, to heal, to spark your creativity or what your unique gift is, that you bring to the world, then the Wheel of Colours will help you to see this and yourself more clearly and show you how to use these insights in practical ways.

It will also show you how you can listen to your inner truth and that of others, what your most important lesson is in life and what challenges you might have to overcome.

Once you’ve learned what you need to learn, you can start the wheel again, this time more smoothly.

In the past, people often only got these insights and realizations towards the end of their lives – but you don’t have to wait until then.

🌈 You have the power to create your reality.

Join the CREATRIX School

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Clarity - Confidence - Connection

In the CREATRIX School we bring clarity, confidence and connection into every area of our lives - and we look at a different topic each month.

This month is all about community, and thinking about how we can best work and come together with others - so that we can build the world we want to live in together.

It's fun, it's exciting, and it is surely also challenging, as we have to become honest about our wants, needs and desires.

What are yours?