Why good friendships are important for a fulfilled life – and what makes you a great friend!

by | Mar 2, 2022 | Community

Why are good friendships important for a fulfilling life?

Having close friends is an important part of everyone’s life. In Asian medicine, people are considered healthy when all areas of life are running smoothly. This also includes a fulfilling social life.

  • Are you a good friend?
  • What is important to you when it comes to friendships?
  • How do you keep in touch over a distance or even in times with limited contact options like we have had in recent years?

When I moved to the countryside last year I left most of my friends in Berlin and we now have to reconfigure our friendships in new ways.

This means that we now see each other more often for a weekend than for an evening. We write to each other regularly or video chat. In fact, my not-so-close friends are often very happy to receive my Newsletters too.

Because I also lived and worked abroad and took part in a lot of international seminars, Facebook is also an important place for me to keep in touch with people I wouldn’t be able to keep in regular contact with personally.

This week, I want to look specifically at the role that friendships play in our lives. If you have any questions or suggestions, please write to me!

Ralph Waldo Emerson: Der beste Weg, einen Freund zu haben, ist der selbst einer zu sein.
Save for later
What does it mean to be a good friend?

As it is with change in any area of our lives, striving for good friendships begins with ourselves.

When I start my work with someone, I always ask if they have people in their lives with whom they can have fun, who they feel understand them fully. People with whom they share interests and with whom you feel connected. DO YOU?

If you do, congratulations! You are welcome to leave a comment telling what you do to make your friendships come alive and give them the depth that makes you feel understood and seen.

Most people, I talk to, do not find it easy to open up and reveal enough about themselves to feel understood in return, though.

It can be very difficult to make yourself vulnerable enough to feel that kind of connection, indeed. In a world, where we’ve been asked to harden ourselves for success, where we feel like we need to present an image rather than discover ourselves, forming strong and honest connections can be tough.

What makes you a great friend?

To be a great friend and to nurture your friendships, the first step is to be honest with yourself and consider what you’re looking for, what you value in others, and what you might be missing currently.

If you notice that you are missing something, maybe your friends feel the same way? Behavioural patterns and routines often establish themselves at a time when they work well, but as we grow older our needs can change, yet we feel bound to keep up with old behaviours in order not to alienate our friends. Yet, chances are that they feel quite similarly and that you can find ways to change together if communicate openly.

If you would like some support to find out ways for you to make that possible, apply for a free 30-min call.

Our circle of friends can also often be a reason why we don’t dare to implement the changes we need, even if they are actually important to us.

To be a great friend, nothing is more important than honesty.

Don’t be afraid of change.

For years, almost all of my social activities involved alcohol. People met in bars in the evenings, went to concerts or other events, but everyone always had an alcoholic drink in their hands.

The negative effects of this lifestyle got worse with getting older, but to be honest, I mostly got bored with this routine at a certain point.

Just as exciting as hedonism seemed at a certain point in time, it also became just as lacking in climax at some point.

At the point when I decided to make a change for myself, I had to rethink my friendships and see how we might redefine them as well.

Can we go to the museum during the day? Try out the new café around the corner? We did collage nights and went for walks instead of pub nights, etc. It was a bit clumsy at first, but it was such a relief to find out that people would still want to hang out with me even when I requested to change the way we did. And the genuinely seemed happy about that change too.

After a while, it wasn’t a problem for me to go to the pub again from time to time because I liked my new life far too much for a beer or wine to persuade me to return to old behavioural patterns.

The real friends stayed, others disappeared, and more and more new ones are coming.

Change is always a part of our lives, and over time we can learn to let things go that no longer serve us and turn to new adventures and experiences that enrich our lives and help us stay true to ourselves.

As mentioned above, friendships are a essential part of your life as you grow into self-actualization, they have to be part of a balanced and fulfilling life – we are wired for this kind of connection.

Having friends that you can have fun with, trust, be honest with, a place were you can truly be yourself and let your guard down is an important part of that.

If you do not have that right now, that is absolutely OK. If it is something that you feel could be meaningful to you and enrich your life, start thinking about how you can be the friend you wish for, for others. See if you can start living in a way as if you already had the things you wish for.

If you have the feeling that you are encountering blockages and you are not really getting anywhere on your own apply for a free 30-min call with me.

If you would like to consciously tackle this and other topics every week together with like-minded people, then join Your Magical Year. (Maybe you will even find one or more new friends there!)

I’m very much looking forward to hearing from you! There’s never a better day, to start changing things for the better, than today. You’ve got this!


Save for later

Begin Your Self-Actualization Journey today


Sessions take place online via zoom, no matter where you are. All you need is a computer or mobile device with internet connection.

safe &confidential

Before the sessions start, you'll sign a coaching contract so that responsibilities and boundaries are clearly defined.

Recordings & Materials

Sessions can be recorded for review at a later point. If relevant, I will provide PDFs and other resources to support you on your self-actualization journey.

BE FREE. Live your life with love.

A Magical Year invites you to a twelve-month journey full of exploration, love and liberation.

„I had a virtual meeting with Verena, and I felt really safe and comfortable opening up about my struggles with Verena.
She is such a good listener and she shared with me a list of practical and efficient tools/solutions to change my mindset and the way I talk to myself. It was eye-opening. I totally recommend talking to her - her expertise can be a precious resource for everyone!“ - Francesco

I am at a stage in my life where I can (and want to) make a shift, but struggle envisioning the right direction to take and the action needed. Verena helped me to focus on my desires and what is keeping me stuck. Her approach is sympathetic, calm and down-to earth. It felt like she truly wanted to work with me towards my goals and my wellbeing, through small, concrete steps and kindness. She made me feel more confident, and now the change seems more approachable. – Elena

Verena holds compassion for herself and for me, listens and allows space and treats me as an equal.
She shows up with curiosity & presence, reminds me to listen to what's important to me, suggests simple, manageable practices, giving me concrete things to work with, all in one 60-minute call. Thank you again for this gift! – em

I always admired Verena's ability to bring together people of very diverse backgrounds and give others the space and the freedom to be who they are and to express themselves. It was amazing to watch her transform her life and herself and become much happier in the process. – Corinna

I’m so thankful for the email you sent yesterday about being a conscious digital citizen. 🙂 It really sparked my day and I must have agreed with every word you said […] maybe even more as I am opening up to start presenting my thoughts and work online to wider audiences, it is so important to be concise about adequate behaviour in the digital world and lead by example 😉 Thank you for reminding me of that! 🙂 😉 – Luisa

Find out how you can Start to Live your Best Life

with Self-Actualization Coaching

The three Elements of well-being:

Physical Well-being // Body

To fulfil our physiological needs, we need enough sleep, good food and enough exercise.

We also need a safe place to live and be.

I always think of Virginia Woolf's quote: “A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction.”

learn more

Woman standing looking over landscape and sunset- this is what it can look like to live your best life

Mental Well-being // Mind

Our mental well-being is usually linked to our physical well-being and vice versa.

Once we know how to take care of ourselves in terms of food, sleep and exercise, we can learn to develop a strong and positive relationship with ourselves mentally as well.

We can start to change and train the way we think of ourselves, ...

learn more

Relational Well-being // Soul

The work always starts with ourselves, but ends with being able to be fully present in community.

But once our inner work is (mostly) done, we can safely, lovingly and joyfully be with others and inspire and uplift.

We can learn to live in the freedom ...

learn more

This might also be interesting for you