Do You Feel Alive?

Photo by me from my archive.

Dear Future Self,

The last couple of days have actually felt like I’m living my life.

Let’s see if I’m going to be able to describe this adequately. Most of my life has felt like I was waiting for my life to start. Like I needed to do a few more things, change something here or there in order for my life to be the life I want.

Shifts often happen gradually, I guess I’ve been arriving more and more lately. But yesterday, when the dogs and I returned from a walk and I looked at the entrée of our house, I saw just that: our house.

There was no to-do list, no, I need to get this to make it look better. It was: Oh, the perfect house. I’m actually living my dream.

The same while I was working. I’m actually doing what I love to do. And it feels real. Not just like I’m trying.

And just now, I was sitting in my living room and when I opened my eyes after meditation, saw the candles burning, the dog sleeping peacefully and snoring a bit, the feeling was there again.

This is it. It’s my life and it’s perfect. Just like I am and like you are.


I’m so grateful. I feel so free.

Have a wonderful day,



PS: Dear Future Self, I have a feeling, that my arriving has a lot to do with you, or better: the fact that I’m writing to you and imagining you.

It feels like through this, life really seems to automatically become what I imagine it could be in my ideal future. Automatically, effortlessly.

I just sett the intention and then watch things just come together.


PPS: My clients and other people I talk to sometimes find it difficult to imagine themselves as perfect at first. Dear reader, maybe that is the same for you?

Most of us are raised to believe that we are not perfect. That we have to do things perfectly, or do things a certain way to be perfect, and that perfect is basically unachievable.

But it’s not true. We are all perfect, exactly as we are. Someone once said that the definition of being human is to make mistakes.

So, whatever we do, we are still perfect, if we make a mistake, we make a mistake and all it does is it proves the fact that we are human.

There’s really nothing we can do to change that.

You, dear reader, are perfect, exactly as you are. So are your parents, your kids, your friends and your enemies.

Does that mean everything should stay the way it is? Certainly not.

We might want to do something about our consumption to avoid distinction. We might want to be nicer, more loving, caring and forgiving to live together more harmoniously.

We might want to be more open and happy and free. But no matter where and how we are, we are still perfect. Perfectly human, learning, growing, experiencing.

You are perfect, dear reader. And I sincerely hope that you enjoy your perfectness today and let it become the driving force for your generosity.

PS: You are invited to join the I AM CREATOR School, if you’d like to experience your humanness more fully and really start to see yourself as the perfect being you are. ❤️

► My Future Self Journal ▼

Why do I write to my future self? ◼︎ ●

Self-Actualizing, personal development, the search for more options, finding out how to actually live our best lives, or simply experiencing growth and change for any reason, might feel weird, scary or uncertain.

Yet impermanence or becoming is something we all share.

I started to write and publish some diary post a while ago, and looking back at them even a month later, I felt like I should rewrite them because my perspective had changed so much.

But that would be like trying to erase the most essential part: the journey.

We don't just arrive at a certain point, we struggle, fight, fall down, run in the wrong direction, come back, stand up, fall again and yet continue.

We laugh, love, enjoy, paint, sing, dance, discuss and find ourselves surprised by the unexpected. With every experience, we spiral up and can dive into deeper levels of experience and understanding if we allow ourselves to do so.

This series is a documentation of a journey into the unknown.

It shows how vulnerability and fear can be present, and welcomed, and not stop us.

It's about admitting mistakes and acknowledging how easily we can be wrong, no matter how mindful, present, in tune and aware we are.

We'll never know until we try.

But most of all it's about celebrating life in all its different forms and shapes, colours and sounds and tastes, in depth and lightness - to witness life's endless beauty and continuous unfolding.

We are all a part of life's magnificence, the question is: How much of it do we allow ourselves to enjoy and experience?

The more we open up and liberate ourselves from what we thought we knew, the more we allow to see things in new ways and the more love we share, the more magical life becomes.

May we open our present with presence and let our future selves continue to experience life wholeheartedly.

May my honesty inspire yours and show you that there is nothing to fear. Everything is working out for the greatest good. ❤️

With lots of love for you and this world,

Get Your Personal Wheel of Colours

The Wheel of Colours is a traditional tool that can help us to understand what we need in certain situations.

We are all made up out of the same stuff, but everything is arranged uniquely in each person – which leads to us all needing different things in different moments.

If you’d like to find out what YOU need to start a project, to work with other people, to successfully finish something, to heal, to spark your creativity or what your unique gift is that you bring to the world, then the Wheel of Colours will help you to see this and yourself in a new and very practical way.

It will also show you how you can listen to your inner truth and that of others, what your most important lesson is and also what your most difficult challenge will be, that once you overcome it will bring you to the completion of your wheel – and allow you to start again in a smoother, more enlightened and balanced way.

🌈 You have the power to create your reality.

Join the I'M a CREATRIX School

I AM CREATOR School - Join Now

Are you a creatrix?

Have you ever felt like you don’t quite belong? That you’re somewhat different from the rest of the people around you?

That there’s a yearning deep down, a knowing, that you are capable of more? That while you know you are talented and can achieve a lot, something is somehow still missing?

Then you are a creatrix. And it’s time to start living it.

I, too, felt this way as long as I can remember
And I didn’t know what I was missing.

I had friends, a partner, a rewarding job. I was an artist, an activist and created real change.

Yet, I also felt lonely, uncertain, sometimes hopeless and often stressed.

No matter what or how much I did, it never felt completely right or like I had arrived.

Something was always missing.