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Let’s make new friends – while being sober
Drinking alcohol seems like such a normal part of the lives of many. Just looking for stock photos of ‘friends’, it’s difficult to find pictures without alcoholic beverages in them.
We get offered free drinks at restaurants, and often people act as if you are insulting them, if you don’t choose to have a drink with them. But we don’t have to be an alcoholic to not want to drink.
We may simply wish not to cause unnatural highs and lows, that don’t serve us.
After all, alcohol is a depressant and while it may lift us up while we drink it, it can also drag us further down, after.
I didn’t drink until I was in my early twenties, because I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 15 and the doctors told me that drinking might cause more seizures, and also that drinking alcohol, while taking medication, gives your liver extra work.
But after I left my home and found out that many of the things I was raised to believe before I went to college, weren’t true, I decided to give alcohol a try as well. And it changed my world.
All my insecurities – gone.
I could stay out and party as long as I wanted. People liked me, and I was often the centre of the party.
Sure, the next day was always tough – unless, you just got another drink and continued.
And so I finished university, earned a master’s degree, worked, founded a non-profit and much more while drinking, maybe not every day, but almost.
Until I started to lose friends, to mental health and physical health issues.
Until I realized that I wanted to try something else.
I remember that beginning stage quite vividly. I had an argument with my girlfriend at the time, and I had no idea how to process it in any other way than to go out drinking with my friends.
And so I paced up and down the bathroom floor, trying to regulate myself, until it was finally time to sleep. When I woke up the next day, I was surprised – because I felt great!
Not hung over, not numb, not sad, but actually able to do something about what had been bothering me, instead of just ignoring it, because I had no power anyway, when I woke up with a hang over.
And it helped me realize that I had never actually learned how to process my emotions in a normal way.
More than that, after a while, a lot of what, I thought, was my depression, disappeared. A lot of what I thought was anxiety, disappeared.
And I realized that a lot of what I had thought and felt in the past ten years, wasn’t actually me, but the alcohol.